Page 11 of Damaged & Deadly

A shiver races down my spine, and although my inner femininity is snarking that I don’t belong to anybody, I can’t deny how my body responds to his words. Besides, unlike Dante, Enzo doesn’t want to control me. He’s already proved he wants me the way I am—as the person I am. He’s more than happy for me to be my own person. Just like Cain and Oliver. But therein lies the problem. I can’t belong to Enzo, or Dante, because I already belong to Cain and Oliver. And despite the chemistry I have with them, and the feelings I’m developing for these two dangerous, mysterious mafia men, I refuse to let them destroy what I’ve built with Cain and Oliver. As painful as it would be, if I have to choose, I choose them—my Rejects.

Despite my inner thoughts, my own voice has taken on a breathy quality as I argue, “What if I belong to neither of you?”

“You do.” He says it with such conviction, like it’s an indisputable fact. “You’re mine. Ours.”

Tilting my head, I test the waters. “Maybe I belong to someone else.”

The sheer depth of the possession that flares across his face surprises me. “Not anymore, you don’t.” Leaning in, he captures my lips with his. His kiss serves to further flip my world on its axis, and the fact that his words simultaneously terrify me to the bone and send a zap of electricity to my core says everything about how fucked in the head I am. About as fucked as this situation is. I can’t see a way out of this that doesn’t involve the four men I’ve found myself all twisted up with going head-to-head in a battle over me. While some people might be into four hot men fighting over them, I’m not one of them. Not when the losers end up dead, and no matter the outcome, I know I’d lose a part of myself.

As if he can sense my inner turmoil threatening to pull me under, Enzo backs away instead of pushing me farther. “We should go. We’ve got a big night to prepare for.”

With my heart aching and my lips tingling from our kiss, I give a solemn nod and let him help me to my feet. With his hand on my lower back, he escorts me out of Dante’s home basement gym. At the entrance to the gym, he pauses, lifting his head to smirk at a camera situated above the door. I give him a weird look, but he just grins and pulls the door open. Out of everything going on, his weirdness is the least of my concerns, so I quickly let it go.

“I have a feeling things are about to get a little crazy,” Enzo says as we climb the stairs to the kitchen. “You should consider telling Dante about your alter ego.” I don’t respond, but I can feel his eyes on me, and after a second, he tacks on, “If he knew just how capable you were, he’d treat you as an equal in this.”

I scoff, my head whipping around to stare at him incredulously. “No, he wouldn’t. Dante is all about control. I could tell him I turn into the Hulk, and he’d still think I should stay at home and twiddle my thumbs while themengo out and do the fighting.”

Enzo just stares at me like I’m being dense. “You really haven’t gained any insight into him at all, have you?”

I throw my hands up, exasperated. “How could I? The man may as well be made of stone. He barely says anything, and his facial expressions give nothing away. I don’t have a clue what he’s thinking most of the time.”

“Dante has always been set in his ways. He was raised as a leader and expects people to do what he says, when he says. He doesn’t like chaos or anything that he can’t understand or control. He thinks that’s how life should be—cold and predictable. It’s all he knew growing up, and anything outside of that scares him.” My eyebrows hitch at the thought of Dante being scared of anything. “But I know he’s capable of so much more. He thinks he’s dead inside, except I’ve seen that spark in his eyes when everything bubbles over and he can’t keep a lid on his emotions anymore.”

It takes a second before what he’s saying clicks. “That’s why you push him. When he’s pissed off, you don’t back down as everyone else would, and you’re always throwing little digs at him.”

“It is. Most of the time, it’s anger he spews my way, but when that fizzles out, he has to confront the real feelings hiding underneath. He doesn’t process those feelings the way you or I do. He can’t feel happiness and identify it as such. He just knows he’s feeling something different from the norm, which terrifies him. As a kid, whenever he felt like that, his father would snuff it out. He went to extreme lengths to ensure his son didn’t know any positive emotions.” My chest tightens as my heart aches for a young Dante. How confusing must that have been? And to have been raised by a father like that… he never stood a chance of becoming anything other than a monster. And yet, he’s not. Not really. No more of a monster than I am. And he’s certainly not his father. I have at least gleaned that much from him.

“So you’ve been trying to coax those emotions out of him?”

“I’ve been trying to get him to open himself up to them instead of switching them off.”

I shake my head. “But what does any of this have to do with me?”

A surprisingly soft smile graces his lips. “You kickstarted something eight years ago in that alley. Before then, I was beginning to lose hope in him. He had a soft spot for me, but with every passing day, he was becoming his father more and more. Then you came along.” His eyes are glassy while he gets lost in his memories of that day. I still remember it clearly. It was one of the few times Luc and I were out on the street. I’d been rummaging around in the dumpster for anything useful I could use to make us a bed for the night when I heard voices. I should have hightailed it outta there. Anyone with half a brain would have. But something drew me closer, and only the loud bang of the gun seemed to smack any sense into me. Of course, Enzo heard me, and before I could escape, he had his arm around my waist.

“I still don’t understand what happened. I thought for sure you were dead.” So did I. It was impossible to make out much in the alley, but as Dante towered over me, his face pinched tight as he pointed the gun at my head, I was praying to anyone who would listen that someone would take care of Luc for me. I was sure I was a goner. So sure that I thought I was hallucinating when he told me to get out of there. “But then he let you go. I knew after that that Dante wasn’t a lost cause. I just had to keep pushing him. For the most part, he was still set in his ways, but I could tell when he was beginning to feel out of control, so I’d sink my teeth in and rip the hole in his chest open wider until he couldn’t take it anymore.”

He smirks, and I roll my eyes. “Until he fucked you.”

Enzo shrugs unapologetically. “It became like an outlet for him.”

“Of course. You weren’t getting anything out of it,” I tease with a smile.

“I’m not going to say no to a few orgasms and helping my best friend not lose himself.”

My smile falls as seriousness returns to his features.

“Then you showed up in the club that night, and even though Dante didn’t know who you were, it triggered him. Ever since then, he’s felt out of control. You’re unpredictable, and he doesn’t know how to process his feelings for you.”

“So he compensates by going overboard trying to control everything around him,” I finish, finally feeling like I’ve gained some sort of understanding when it comes to Dante. “How does any of this explain why I should tell him I’m the Reaper?”

“Dante may not know why he’s so obsessed with you, but he is. He’s decided you’re his and will do everything he can to protect you. Even if that involves locking you up until he thinks you're safe.”

My eyebrows hitch, and I quickly skip over that last little bit. “So you think if he knows I’m capable of handling myself that he will back off a little. He’ll realize I don’t need to be locked away and protected?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

I chew on my bottom lip as I mull it over. “I’ll think about it,” I eventually concede, knowing it’s not a decision I can make without giving it more thought.

---