Page 59 of Damaged & Deadly

“Yeah, but you had to marry that bastard.”

I grimace, unsure how to even explain any of it to him. “He’s not that bad,” I mumble, unable to meet his eyes.

“Not that bad?! Sawyer, he’s an Antonelli. And I saw the way he behaved at that dinner. Every time you spoke, he’d cut you off or glare at you. I’ve never seen you so… submissive. You seemed terrified of him.”

God, how do I explain to him that the Dante he witnessed that day isn’t the real version. That that’s not the way he is with me. “He’s not like that,” I try to reason, but I instantly regret it when hurt flashes across Luc’s face.

Putting distance between us, he slowly, with pained movements, pushes up to sit on the edge of the bed. “They kidnapped me,” he snaps, breathing heavily as he pushes to his feet. “Beat me.” He waves toward his face. “Fucking sliced me open. I-I-I had to…” Emotion clogs his throat, tears swimming in his eyes, and I desperately want to know what the end of that sentence is. What did he have to do? What did that sick fuckmakehim do?

But he doesn’t finish it. Instead, he shakes his head, getting himself under control, and when he lifts his head to meet my eyes, there’s a steeliness in it that I’ve never seen before. It makes him look older than fifteen and breaks something vital inside me.He shouldn’t know that look. Not yet, at least.“You saw what they did to Evie. Where they’ve been keeping her all these years. The sick shit he made her do…” Another shake of his head, and I reach out to clasp his hand in mine, giving it a squeeze.

“I know. I’m not disagreeing with you. Giovanni and Santos are monsters.” I hesitate, licking my lips. “But Dante didn’t do any of those things.”

“No, but he’s one of them. And I bet if they’d asked him to, he would have.”

I hesitate for a split second because, honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to think he wouldn’t, but would he be able to say no to his father or Santos? Would he be forced to follow through, so he himself didn’t end up in Luc’s position?

“Ha, see! Even you know it,” Luc argues, noticing my slight hesitation.

“That’s not—” I huff out a frustrated breath, dropping his hand as I rub at my temples. “It’s more complicated than that.”

His forehead creases as his brows draw together in confusion, and he stares at me like he’s never seen me before. “What the hell is this, Sawyer? Are you on their side?” The hurt in his eyes nearly kills me.

“No,” I insist. “It’s just not a simple case of us versus them. It’s not all black and white.”

He shakes his head, looking immensely disappointed in me. “After everything they’ve done. To me. To Cain. To Evie. I don’t understand how you can sympathize with them at all.” I pinch my lips, unsure what to say. “Maybe all that time you spent with them gave you Stockholm Syndrome or something.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I mumble, knowing there’s no point in trying to reason with him. He’s not in the mindset to hear anything I have to say in favor of Dante.

He lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m tired.”

I guess that’s my cue to leave. Feeling fucking awful, I hover, waiting desperately for him to meet my eye, but he just stares at the floor. After an awkward minute of us both just standing there, I relent. “Sure. I’ll talk to you later.”

He doesn’t respond, and I stride from the room before he can see the tears stinging my eyes. Somehow, I manage to hold it together until I close the door to Cain’s bedroom, but when the door clicks shut behind me, the first tear slips, and I slide down the door. Bringing my legs up, I wrap my arms around my knees and give myself a minute to wallow.

I feel like I’m in the most fucked up game of piggy in the middle. Technically, we’re all on the same side when you think about it—the anti-Giovanni side. In fairness, I don’t know what Dante’s plan is with the rest of the Antonelli empire when he dethrones his father, but I’m sure some sort of peace agreement could be arranged. Dante isn’t his father, and I don’t think he has any interest in ruling over Black Creek.

Resting my head back against the door, I sigh heavily as the weight of everything presses on my shoulders. All I can see is the disappointment on Luc’s face, and I don’t know how to make him understand or even get him to hear me out. Hopefully, when he’s had time to heal from whatever the fuck Santos did to him, he will be open to listening.

As for Cain and Oliver… I know all four guys only got along for the sake of rescuing Luc and for the shot at taking out Giovanni. Now that Cain has Evie back, and especially given the state in which we found her, he’s going to be like a bloodhound craving the taste of Antonelli blood. I’m worried even Dante and Enzo won’t be spared his wrath.

I groan as a wave of despair washes over me. I have no idea how to salvage any of this. How to get Luc to understand, Cain to see reason, and all four guys to work together. I’m afraid for Dante and Enzo, especially now that Giovanni is on the run and most likely gunning for them. Mostly, I just feel useless, unsure how to help or see a way that ends happily for anyone. Maybe we’re all fucked.

Chapter 23

Buzz. Buzz… Buzz. Buzz.

Rolling over, I reach blindly across the bedsheet for my phone. I must have dozed off at some point, apparently having stressed myself out to the point of exhaustion.

“Hello,” I mumble into the phone when I finally find it, my voice thick with sleep.

“Did I wake you?” Enzo’s warm voice comes down the line.

“Mmhmm.” It’s the only response I’m capable of in my still half-asleep state.

“Well, I hope you were dreaming about me.” I huff out a breathy laugh as Enzo’s voice drops an octave. “‘Cause I was thinking about you.”

I shiver, his voice alone enough to heat me up until I melt into the mattress. “You were?”

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