Page 30 of Damaged & Deadly

“Red,” Jon gasps when I exit the office several hours later, thoroughly fucked and floating on a cloud of bliss. Cain and Oliver went to arrange patrols to keep an eye on Giovanni’s skyscraper and do whatever else they do on a daily basis. I decided to take the opportunity to check in with my baby. I’ve missed her, and I’m dying to get her out on the open roads and feel the wind whipping my face as her strength vibrates between my legs.

“Jon!” Smiling, I step toward him but his face falls, making me pause.

“I’m so sorry.” The pain I can see etched into every line on his face has me pulling him in for a tight hug. He clings to me as he buries his head against my shoulder, reminding me that he’s still very much a kid. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,” I soothe, holding him to me. “It’s okay. None of this is your fault.” He wasn’t even there that day. Tank and Rampage were the ones at school with Luc, not that I blame them either. It was a fucking shootout, of course they were distracted. I know how friendly Luc has gotten with each of them, and I’ve no doubt they are all beating themselves up over what happened.

He shakes his head, not buying my words. “I should have been there. I should’ve…”

“What?” I argue, pulling back so he can see my sincerity. “You being there wouldn’t have changed anything, except maybe getting yourself hurt or killed.”

“You trusted me with him. He was my friend, and I let him down.”

“You did no such thing.” I cup his face in my hand. “What’s done is done. There’s no point dwelling on it. All we can do is look forward, focus on getting him back because wewillget him back.”

I have no idea where this confidence is coming from—Cain and Oliver must be rubbing off on me—but it seems to bolster Jon, and the sad look in his eye turns into something harder as he straightens his spine.

“We will. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

I smile softly. “There’s nothing to make right. You did nothing wrong. You’re a good friend, and I’m sorry I doubted you initially.”

A goofy grin lights up his face, and for a moment, I feel like everything will be all right. I love Jon’s optimism and his outlook on the world. Given what he’s been through, he should be beaten down and broken, but he’s got more life in him than I do. It makes me realize how much of my life I’ve squandered over the years. He’s only now getting his first real taste of what it means to live, and he embraces every moment, living it to its fullest, whereas I’ve taken it for granted, only seeing the negatives instead of focusing on what’s good about my life.

“I can’t say I blame you. You raised a good kid. I’d be worried too if I thought some thug was trying to corrupt him.”

He smirks and I laugh.

“I should go tell Tank and Rampage you’re here…”

“There’s no need. The blame for all of this lies solely with Grim and Giovanni. They are the ones we should be angry at.They’rethe ones that need to pay.”

I can tell a weight has been lifted off his shoulders when we part ways, and surprisingly, I feel lighter myself, as though relieving Jon of his blame has somehow helped me come to terms with my own guilt.

I’ve been blaming myself for not being there, for leaving Luc in someone else's care while I took on a cause that was not mine. I’ve blamed myself for letting the Rejects into our lives and for thinking we could take on the Antonellis without repercussions, but I meant what I said to Jon. We are not to blame. We are not to blame for fighting back when Giovanni was the one that dealt the first strike. We are not to blame for standing up and demanding better; demanding more. We shouldn’t have to scurry around in the shadows, suffocated under oppression and terrified to piss off the higher powers that rule this city. We shouldn’t have to live in fear that one day they’ll knock our door down and steal our loved ones. We shouldn’t have to fight for scraps and demean ourselves just to survive.

I may not have started this war, but I am a part of it. I was a part of it long before Cain sought me out. He just brought me into the fold and upped the ante. While I’d been sneaking around in the dark, cutting off the monster’s feet and barely making a difference, Cain decided to go straight for the monster’s head. The kill shot. Cut off the head and the body will die.

A savage grin slashes across my face as I pull the helmet over my head and throw my leg over Raven, revving the engine before tearing out of the parking lot. Oh yeah, Giovanni’s head will roll alright. I’m going to make sure of that.

***

“Whose house is this?”

I’ve had the most amazing twenty-four hours. Riding Raven, hanging out with the Rejects, and spending the night curled up with Cain and Oliver… It would be perfect if it wasn’t for the dark cloud of worry hanging over me as I wonder what fresh hell Luc is enduring.

Thankfully, all four men have agreed to meet today so we can devise a plan. Luc’s already been in Giovanni’s and Santos’ hands for six days. Six days too long. I can’t even bear to think what irreparable damage they could have done to him in that time.

“Mine,” Cain answers as he holds the front door open for me. We’re back at the house I directed Dante and Enzo to the other day.

My eyebrows hitch in surprise, not having expected that answer. I figured it belonged to one of his men. “Yours?”

“Yup. I grew up here.”

I cast my eyes around the house with fresh eyes, trying to picture a younger version of Cain running around, perhaps with his sister in tow and Oliver somewhere nearby. I imagine this house was once filled with happy memories… until it wasn’t.

My eyes trail up the stairs to the landing, where Cain and Evie would have slept. Does he still stay here sometimes? Is her room still the same, or has he painted over all the heartache like he has with the rest of the house?

“You kept it.” My voice is hoarse, emotion making it difficult to speak.

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