Page 39 of Murder & Mayhem

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open as she begins to clap her hands together and bounce on her heels in excitement. “Ollie?! No way. We’re practically twins!” I’m not sure if I’m just being dense or if I just can’t follow her train of thought. “Evie”—she points to herself—“Ollie”—she points to me. Still giving me that toothy grin, she nods as if she’s just confirmed something. “Yup, I know it.”

“Know what?” I can’t track any of what this girl is saying.

“We’re meant to be best friends, silly.”

She was wrong. I didn’t know it then, but I was already in love with her. We werenevergoing to be just best friends. Not that I understood any of that at the age of eight. Nor did I really understand it any better when I was thirteen, either. I just knew I was obsessed with her. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I was totally smitten. She could have told me to walk into The Feral Beasts’ clubhouse and call them pussies, and I’d have done it without a second thought.

For Red, though? I’d storm The Feral Beast clubhouse and kill every last one of them to protect her. Where Evie was all angelic light and radiant goodness, Red revels in darkness and sin. She’s not afraid to get her hands dirty, even if that means coating them in someone else's blood. Evie may have brought out my integrity, but Red sees me for exactly who I am. She knows my violent past, sees the shit I’m neck-deep in every day, and doesn’t try to change any of it. Despite her ingrained hatred of gangs, she’s never once asked if I’d leave the Rejects, and I know it wouldn’t bother her if I didn’t. She craves the chaos that comes with this life as much as I do. Oliver, the kid, may have been infatuated with an angel-like Evie, but the man I’ve grown intoneedsa woman like Red. Hell, if I ever ran into someone as innocent as Evie nowadays, they’d run screaming in the opposite direction. But Red? She’s the perfect woman for me. She can handle the darkness that resides inside me. She knows when to coax it to the surface and how to calm the beast when it gets antsy. I may have been besotted with Evie, but I’min lovewith Red.

I fall asleep to the knowledge of that, combined with Red’s soft snores on the other end of the phone, and instead of bright light and an angelic face in my dreams, there’s a red-headed beauty dressed in leather and ready to slay whatever demons come her way.

***

“Hey, Luc. Can I talk to you for a sec?” I ask, popping my head into the game room.

“Yeah, sure.” He jumps to his feet and follows me out of the room. “What’s up?”

I don’t say anything as I lead him to Cain’s office, wanting to talk in private. Cain just left for the gym—something he’s been doing a lot of recently—so I’m confident we have plenty of time before he returns.

Moving to sit behind Cain’s desk, I gesture for Luc to take one of the empty seats in front of it. I’ve never really talked to him before. Not one-on-one like this. He spends most of his time with the kids, and since Cain and I told them to keep him away from club shit, I haven’t been around him much.

“Uh, am I in trouble?” he questions, glancing around nervously.

I try to let the tension seep out of my posture as I smile reassuringly at him. “No.” He physically relaxes, his shoulders dropping in relief. “I just wanted to check how you were doing. I know you’ve been hanging around quite a bit, and with your sister working so much, I wanted to make sure you were happy enough here.”

“Oh, yeah. I love hanging out here, it’s great. The guys are awesome. Everyone’s been so friendly.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Interlocking my fingers, I lean forward, resting my forearms on the edge of the desk. “I know at your age gang-life can seem appealing. I was your age when I joined one. But it’s not all parties and hanging out and getting girls. All gang life has a dark underbelly. Even the Rejects. We shelter the kids from the worst of it, but other gangs don’t.” Before I press on, deep lines form along Luc’s forehead as his eyebrows dip in confusion. “Just the other week we caught a kid not much older than you, who’d been sent into our territory by the Grim Bastards. Grim and his men sent that kid here knowing he’d most likely die, and they didn’t care.”

“Is that what this is about? Sawyer told you about that guy talking to me? I told her it was nothing. Guys like that are always trying to get me to sign up for whatever stupid gang they belong to. I just let them say what they have to, then tell them I’m not interested.” Luc’s temper flares, but one word snags my attention.

“Sawyer?”

His eyes widen as he realizes he’s said something he shouldn’t. “Shit. You’re not supposed to know that. Forget I said anything.” He gets to his feet. “I get it. No talking to other gangs, and definitely no joining them.”

I lean back in my chair, keeping my gaze on him. “I’ve seen the darkest side of these gangs. I’ve killed men who didn’t understand what they were getting themselves into, then tried to run. I’ve participated in torturing spies, rats, and traitors. I have more blood on my hands than any man should have to bear.” Sighing, I soften my gaze. “I don’t want you to make the mistake I, and so many others, did in not knowing exactly what gang life entails.”

“Do you regret it? The people you killed?”

“Some of them. Some deserved the end they got, but others were just as scared and lost as I was. They didn’t do anything wrong.”

Luc seems to mull something over before he speaks again.

“I’ve heard some of the guys talking about how you were in prison before you came here?”

I nod my head. “I was.”

“What was it like?”

It’s a common question, especially from younger men who haven’t had to do a stint behind bars yet. By the time you’re my age, most men have spent at least a little time in jail for one petty crime or another.

“It’s not an experience I’d recommend. I was in a minimum-security facility with the white-collar criminals who’ve committed tax fraud or whatever. Not cold hard killers and rapists and the like. So it wasn’t too bad, but the second that cell door closes behind you, your life stops. Everything is put on pause while you do your time… but the world outside those doors keeps spinning. Time moves on. All the people you know are getting on with their lives. You’re left with nothing but your thoughts and wishing you’d done life differently. You relive every decision you’ve ever made and wonder,what if I’d made that choice instead.Then, when you do finally get out, you have to make the biggest decision of all. You have to decide if you’re going to go back to the life that led you here in the first place, or are you going to choose something new?”

“You chose to come back?”

“No,” I quickly correct. “This life may look like my old one, but it’s vastly different. When I stepped out of that prison, I had the choice… did I wanna continue to be the lost guy with no purpose and obey other people’s orders, or did I want to reclaim my life and live it forme.I decided it was past time to take charge of my own future.”

“And that involved coming back here?” Luc questions, confused.

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