I shake my head, leaning back against him and letting his soft touches relax me. “No, I was just being stupid. I was beating myself up because I wasn’t making any headway at Belle Donne.”
“And you were worried you were letting us down,” he correctly states.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “I know how much this means to you and Cain.”
Thankfully, false reassurances don’t start pouring from his lips. Instead, he takes his time thinking over everything I’ve said before he speaks up. “I know what you mean. I have the same fears.” His admission takes me by surprise. “I’d do anything to help Cain get the vengeance he needs, and the last few months here, I’ve seen just how much he really needs this. It’s become an obsession. He’s not going to be able to move on and live his own life until he’s done right by Evie. It only increases the pressure to succeed.”
“She mattered to you too, though?”
He’s quiet for a long moment. The only sound is his soft breaths against the shell of my ear. “Yeah, she did.” He doesn’t say anything for the longest time, and I assume he’s not going to tell me anymore, so I’m not expecting his quietly spoken admission. “She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved… Or at least, I thought I did. I dunno, can kids even fall in love?”
I show him the same respect he showed me by thinking over my answer instead of just offering fake platitudes. “I think you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel for her. Who says you have to be a certain age to fall in love? She was clearly a very special girl.”
“Yet what I felt for her pales in comparison to the way I’m starting to feel about you.” It’s a quiet confession, barely more than a whisper, as though he’s afraid to say it any louder.
My heart hammers against my chest, and any sort of response I could offer him lodges in my throat.What the hell am I supposed to say to that?I can’t possibly compete with a dead girl. Do I even want to?
When I fail to respond, he gives my side a reassuring squeeze. “We should probably get some sleep.”
Happy not to linger on that awkward conversation, I climb to my feet and turn around to pull him up. When he’s standing in front of me, I fist the front of his shirt and drag him down until his lips meet mine. I may not have any idea how to respond to what he just told me, but I do care about him—a lot—and I’m grateful he made it back unharmed tonight.
I push all of my feelings for Oliver into that kiss. Instead of words, I use my lips, tongue, and teeth to show him how he makes my heart race, to thank him for the steady comfort he offers me, and to demonstrate that my feelings run just as deep as his. I feel the same potential for us as he does. We're both breathless by the time we break apart, and Oliver’s wicked grin confirms he read everything I intended him to.
His hands come up to rest on either side of my neck, and he draws me back in as he lowers his face to mine. It’s so easy to lose myself in him. Unlike when I kiss Cain, there’s no resistance, no fight, but it’s no less intoxicating. If anything, his kisses are more dangerous. The kind you can envision waking up to every morning, that you can melt into after a hard day, and bolster you when you’re feeling low. They have the power to make you feel invincible. To feel loved and worshipped, and to make you want to spend the whole day in bed together. Yeah, Oliver’s kisses are devastating for a girl’s heart.
“Come on, Trouble, before I change my mind and keep you all to myself for the night.”
Confused, I follow as he slips his hand in mine and leads me toward his bedroom. My brows only dip lower when he stops outside Cain’s room and looks at me.
My eyes flick from his to Cain’s closed door and back. “I don’t understand.”
“You should stay with him tonight. Make sure he’s okay.”
“Oh. I don’t think the bullet hit anything major, but uh, yeah. I-I can do that.”
He tucks a finger under my chin, lifting my head until I meet his gaze. There’s a hint of laughter in his eyes, but I can’t understand why. “Cain’s far too stubborn to let a bullet to the shoulder do him in,” he begins, only confusing me further. “He’s also too stubborn to admit when he doesn’t want to be alone.”
As his words penetrate, my lips part until I’m left gaping at him, speechless. “You want me to spend the night with another man?” Is this some sort of a test? Is he testing me right now to see if I’ll choose him over Cain? If that’s the case, then why does a dull ache form in my chest at the thought of picking one of them over the other?
He chuckles softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear before stroking his thumb over my cheek. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m fighting back the urge to throw you over my shoulder and take you to my bed, but Cain needs you tonight. Not that he’d ever ask or tell you that himself.” When I continue to stare at him in a mixture of surprise and shock, he elaborates, “I see the way you interact. I can practically taste the pheromones when you’re around one another. I know he’s not easy to deal with at times, but I think you’d be good for him.” His gaze darts back and forth between my eyes as he ponders on something. “In fact, I think you could be exactly what he needs.”
I don’t exactly know what he means by that, and it’s far too late to delve into it tonight. So instead, when he pushes open the door, I simply step into Cain’s darkened room, not entirely sure whether I’m doing the right thing or not.
As I listen to the soft click of the door closing behind me, I feel strangely nervous, standing there in the darkness. I can just about make out the shape of Cain lying in his bed, the soft, regular rhythm of his breathing alerting me that he’s sound asleep. It feels weird to just climb in beside him. What if Oliver’s wrong and Cain doesn’t want me in here? Whatever Cain and I have going on is complicated, to say the least. Yeah, I understood some of what Oliver was trying to say. The chemistry between us is off the charts, which makes for excellent sex, but beyond that? I haven’t got a fucking clue. I don’t even know if I want anything more with him. Hell, the sex is complicated enough, never mind throwing in feelings and expectations. Although, aren’t feelings already involved? Tonight, and the panic I felt when I saw him on that couch, has shown me that I care about Cain for more than just sexual gratification. I was genuinely concerned for his well-being. More than that, even. I was fucking terrified when I laid eyes on him, covered in blood and looking unnaturally pale.
Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean he feels the same way.Hemight not wantmein his bed, and waking up to a pissed-off Cain telling me to get the fuck out isn’t exactly how I want to start my day.
I stifle a groan as exhaustion tugs at me. Scanning my eyes around the room, I spot the outline of an armchair to one side of the bed and decide that’s probably the best solution. There’s no way I’m going to run off to Oliver and admit I was too scared to even stay in the same room as Cain.
Making my way over as quietly as possible, I slip my feet out of my boots. There’s a hoodie on the arm of the chair, and I tug it on over my top, ignoring the uniquely Cain scent of whiskey and leather that washes over me as I huddle up on the chair. My eyelids feel heavy, and despite the awkward position, it’s not long until sleep pulls me under.
***
I jump awake, my hand instinctively reaching for the blade still in its thigh holster as I scan the room, searching for whatever woke me up. I catch a flicker of movement a second before the bedside light switches on, momentarily blinding me.
“Fucking Christ, Red. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Cain grumbles. “If you wanted me dead, you probably shouldn’t have saved my life earlier.” I’m still blinking the black dots out of my vision so I don’t pierce him with a dark enough glare deserving of his dry remark. “What the fuck are you doing in here, anyway?”
I rub the sleep out of my eyes before responding. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t die in your sleep,” I gripe. “Didn’t need one of your lackeys demanding my head ‘cause they thought I was responsible.”