I stop short. "Oh my god. I’m Enzo!”

Shadow swigs from his tea. “Excuse me?”

Shocked, I lean back against the window. “I’m Enzo, running around stressed about money and thinking relying on him would be the end of the world. I’m working a job I hate, supposedly to pay for school, but you’ve already offered to pay, Nico. And I don’t have to be some perfect model of a successful adult for Enzo to care about me, either.”

Nico nods. “That sounds pretty accurate, actually.”

As the truth sets in, I bounce my head back against the window, knocking it to the glass. It all seems perfectly clear for a moment, but as my heart beats, everything evaporates slowly into doubt again.

The self-realization is important, but maybe I’m tricking myself about the rest, making up a whole story out of thin air, assuming a million things from the advertisement.

I plop down on the couch between my friends again. “I need to level with him. Once we’re back in Seattle, I’ll sit down and tell him everything. That I found the advertisement, what I want, what I think I know. How I feel. Maybe it won’t go well. He could be furious that I snooped. Maybe this entire situation will blow up in my face. I should probably prepare myself in case I need to leave.” Something stabs my heart, but I don’t flinch away from the risk. “As soon as we’re back, it’s time.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE

ENZO

On the dayDamian gets home, I’m in the gym, my muscles screaming with exhaustion as sweat drenches my shirt. Left a note for him saying I’m back here, come say hi if he wants. I’ve got so much going on in my head. I don’t want to rush him and blurt something out as soon as he gets home.

But he should have gotten back a couple hours ago, and I’m already pushing myself past the limit.

Heavy weights hanging from the bar across my shoulders, I squat. The metal is cold in my hands as I groan and push myself back to full height, thighs burning.

Going to show him the ad for the fight. Tell him everything, from day one in the boxing ring until now. Explain I’m a man with no prospects and then level, tell him how I feel.

“Love you,” I grunt, throwing the weights down. “I want to say that I love you.”

No matter how many times I practice, I’m still not sure how to spit it out.

As I catch my breath, I sit on the bench, chugging water. I’ve been thinking too much, working myself into knots.

Maybe his flight got delayed. Maybe he’s getting lunch with his friends.

Maybe I should call.

When I can’t handle it anymore, I head across the garden and toward the house. The cool winter air feels good on my hot skin.

I stop by the shower first, rinse off. In the kitchen, I pour myself another glass of cold water and gulp it down. I don’t hear Damian.

Then I notice. Cookie jars are gone.

I spin, looking around the kitchen. Pull open a couple cupboards, but the jars are nowhere. My heart racing, I hurry toward the living room. The vase with his latest flower creation isn’t there.

Holy fuck. What’s happening?

Freaking the fuck out, I turn to face the stairs. Damian's standing at the bottom in his overalls and a sweater, his hands shoved in his pockets. I can’t read the look on his face.

Sad. But hopeful? His eyes are wide, his lips softly parted.

Fuck, I love him so much.

“You’re back.”

He nods. “Yeah. I was just on my way to the gym to find you.”

“Oh.” I rub the back of my head. We’re standing in the middle of the house, the open space where the stairs ascend from the living room. Ten feet between us, and I can’t figure out how to cross them to reach him.

“How was your trip?”