Page 99 of Filthy and the Beast

I nod, tears welling in my eyes, just like in his. “I’m sorry.” I brace myself for him to end this.

But Damian swallows. He forces his eyes up to mine and nods.

“I know that’s not you, Enzo. You’re not a man with no honor. I just couldn’t figure out why you would let them call you that. And I couldn’t figure out why you were hiding the fight from me either. It really confused me, especially after we’ve become so close and shared so much. I felt like I really knew you, Enzo. I trusted you so much, and then I saw something I didn’t understand at all.”

The shame of my past nearly drowns me, but I force myself to keep listening, needing to hear every word Damian has to say.

“When I was in Seoul, I realized the problem isn’t the fight. It’s not me finding that piece of paper in your room. The problem is I want to be in a relationship with you, Enzo. Not just a sexual arrangement or a job or a weird roommate situation. I want to be your partner in a real way, and the problem is I haven’t told you that yet.”

Holy shit. He wants to be my partner.

“I love you.”

The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. The second they’re in the air, a fresh jolt of panic hits me, shooting up from the base of my spine.

Damn it. That was not the right time.

Stunned, Damian’s eyes are wide as he stares at me. “I… I…” My heart jumps, hopeful for just a second he’s going to say it back, but Damian sputters out, “I wasn’t finished! You can’t jump in and sayI love youin the middle of it!”

“Well fuck! How am I supposed to know? You said you wanted to be my partner.”

He throws his hands in the air. “That doesn’t fix everything! I still have to tell you how I think you’re out of money, but it’s not a problem because you can stop employing me. I can get a job, so can you, and we can figure it out together. And regardless of whether or not you being broke is an issue, you have to help me understand why you’re agreeing to fight some asshole in a cage. Like, do you really need to? We have to talk about everything together.” He waves his arms in an exaggerated circle. “Everything,” he emphasizes, “if we’re going to try to make it work.”

I blink, my thoughts spinning out of control.

Didn’t say I love you back.

Almost said it.

Needs me to talk.

Didn’t say it.

“I’m not broke.” I say it defensively.

“Okay.” He looks at me expectantly. “I thought that might explain your motivation for the fight. Money.”

I swallow. “That is my motivation. But I’m not broke. Just needed more to take care of you.”

“Aha!” Damian points at me. “Exactly!” Grinning, he bounces up on his toes. “You were acting like you needed to take care of me, when in reality, you know self-sufficiency is important to me.” He bounces again. “You were totally ignoring that!”

My face crumples in confusion. “You’re excited now? You’re happy about that?”

Exhausted, I sit on the couch. I don’t understand anything about being in love.

“Just because I figured it out,” Damian mutters. He joins me. “And because it’s funny. We’re the same.”

“How’s that?”

“We’re both acting bullheaded, and we’re both laser-focused on solving our problems on our own.” He points at me again. “Even when it means doing things we hate.”

I grunt. “I like your independent streak. Didn’t mean to disrespect that.”

He takes my hand. “I know,” he says softly.

“And I don’t want to agree to that fight. I hate it.”

“Then don’t.”

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