Page 48 of Filthy and the Beast

Nat blinks at me, staring with wide eyes. “Did you just say you’re having sex with Damian?”

My cheeks flame. “You’re gay.” I'm defensive because I don’t know how else to be. “You can’t have a problem with that.”

Nat laughs. “Who said I do?” She stands abruptly. “When did this start?”

I rub my forehead. “A few days?” It feels like a lot longer.

“Have you always been bi? Is this you coming out to me?”

“No.” When she rolls her eyes, I sigh. “I don’t know. Doing this is new. And the feelings are… basically new.”

Nat grins, really loving this. “Oh my god. Amazing.”

“Shut up.”

“Really! This is monumental. You’re kind of shuffling your feet, and oh my god! Are youblushingbeneath your beard?”

I attempt a scowl. “This isn’t what I came here for.”

“You want advice on asking him to stay?”

“Is that allowed? Can I?”

“Allowed?” Nat shrugs. “There aren’t any official rules, Uncle En.”

I nurse my beer. “I haven’t done this before,” I try to explain. “It’s casual, no big commitments, but that doesn’t mean no commitments at all, right? The way he talks about it, he dates a lot of people. Does stuff I don’t understand. So I don’t know if it’s okay.”

“You really must be crushed out because you sound like a teenager.”

“It’s not a crush.” Fuck. Idosound like a teenager. This is miserable. “We’re having sex. For fun.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes,” I growl.

This is just sex. Damian is very clear about his expectations. It’s important to him, and we’ve agreed, so that’s what the fuck this is. Sex.

Defensive, Nat holds her hands up. “Okay, okay. If you insist. So you don’t want him to leave when his contract ends?”

“I don’t want him to leave.” Damn it, I really, really don’t. “Need him. Especially if I’m going to be training again.”

“Then ask him to stay,” she says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Extend his contract if you really need help, but you don’t have to make up a job to have an excuse. You can ask him to keep sleeping together or even to move in if that’s what you really want. It’s a bit intense to go from strangers to live-in lovers so fast, but who cares?” After a second, she shakes her head quickly. “Wait. You’re hisboss.”

I grab one of the ropes, pulling on it. “That bad?”

“It’s complicated. And it means you’re carrying a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. It’s up to you to make sure he’s okay, that his feelings are respected, that there’s never any pressure or confusion about obligations. I guess people do it, but it sounds like a tightrope walk to me.”

I look down at my big feet.

“I’d never pressure him.” My voice is strained.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Nat says. “At least not intentionally. But you do have big reactions sometimes. Can he handle that?”

A smile twitches up the corner of my mouth. I’m confused about a lot of things right now, but Damian's ability to handle me is not one of them. “Yes.”

Nat scrunches her mouth to the side, thinking. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to end the job, tell him you like him, and ask him to keep hooking up? Free yourself of some of the entanglements?”

“Doesn’t sound any easier,” I grumble.

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