Page 101 of Filthy and the Beast

“The first time someone from the mob approached me, I was seventeen and playing in the youth league. The guy came up to me after a match, offered to pay me good money to throw my next one. Pissed me off something royal, and I went straight back to Hardy, ranting and declaring I would never fight dirty. Thought my coach was on my side, too, and he acted that way as I climbed the ranks, emerging as a serious contender. Toby went pro, too, winning some fights and losing others.” He sighs. “I’m such a fool. Didn’t even wonder how he got so much money.”

“He was throwing his matches?” I ask.

Pain twisting his face, Enzo nods. “I warned him plenty of times. Told him how dangerous it was to work with those criminals. For years, I resisted them myself. The higher I climbed, the bigger the offers. Soon enough, they came with threats, too. Broke into my old apartment and trashed it. Threatened to slit my throat. Drove me off the road one night, the accident that fucked my back.” He swallows, his neck muscles tight. “But I never caved. I refused because I wanted my wins to mean something. Wanted the fight to mean something.”

“I know you wouldn’t cheat.” I squeeze his hand.

“Miranda and Toby got together. Broke my heart, and soon after that, I found out the truth. Hardy had been working with the mob the whole time. Knew from my ranting I wouldn’t play ball, but he introduced Toby to it young. I confronted Toby, but he didn’t blink. There was too much money involved. I went to Miranda to try to warn her, too, but she told me she was sticking with Toby.” His voice cracks. “Tried to warn her,” he repeats, “but she never talked to me again after that. Not even after Toby died.”

My heart aches for him. Enzo thought he’d found his family. Losing them must have killed him.

“Does all of that have something to do with Vegas?”

With a sad sigh, he nods. “The mob had done everything they could to get to me. Thought they might kill me, but I’d made peace with that risk if it meant I could keep my integrity, know I’d earned my place in boxing history. Right before the fight in Vegas, though, my opponent and a couple goons approached me in the locker room. Made it clear it was my job to lose in the twelfth round by knockout, make it interesting until then. I told them to fuck off, and they handed me an envelope filled with pictures of Miranda.”

“Miranda?”

“Toby knew,” he says, his eyes on the lake. “All those years I was pining and keeping my feelings secret, he knew the way only a brother could that I loved her. I’m still not sure how the information got out. Hate to think he told them to use it against me, put his own wife at risk. Maybe he let it slip by mistake. Maybe they got him good and drunk first, then turned the screws until he sang. Doesn’t really matter. The threat was clear. I do what they were telling me to do, or Miranda would pay the consequences.”

“Oh my god. Enzo, that’s horrible. I’m so, so sorry.”

“So I did it,” he says sadly. “Spent the whole match losing my shit, my fury boiling over. They had me in a corner, and there was no one in the world left on my side. I took the hit like I was supposed to and went down hard, but as I heard the match being called, something ignited in me. All the rage and heartache and betrayal took control, and I’m so, so ashamed, but I just couldn’t stop punching that prick.” He hangs his head, not looking at me. “I lost my honor that day.”

“Enzo, no.” My heart kicks. “They were the ones who lost their honor. Your opponent was threatening someone you loved. You were just fighting back.”

“No. There’s no excuse.” He turns his eyes out, his gaze falling on the distance. “My career was over, and a year and a half later, Toby was found dead with a gunshot wound. Heard through the grapevine he’d crossed the wrong guy, broke a deal. Miranda disappeared. Like to think she started a new life, happy somewhere far away from all this crap. She was a spitfire, knew how to take care of herself. That’s when I found the lake, a place I could be alone. Found something like peace here, too. Started noticing the birds. Met a woman who was walking a pit bull she had rescued. The lake was calm, big enough to swallow my pain, and the years started drifting away.”

Enzo sucks in a heavy breath and lets it out slowly. Tears in the corners of his eyes, he stares at the water.

“Beating that man didn’t fix a damn thing. It just ended my career. I’m a failure, Damian. I failed Toby, didn’t keep my brother out of trouble like I should have, and I failed to become the champion I know I could have been. Lost Miranda, ruined my reputation, and now I’m old, out of cash, and I’ve only got a falling-down house with a leaky roof to show for it.” He turns to me again, our eyes locking. “I was desperate when I considered the cage fight. I should have never done it. But if selling out my reputation and degrading myself meant earning the money to support you, I thought, at least in this one little way, I wouldn’t be a failure.”

My heart breaks. He’s so hard on himself, and he’s been so alone in his pain.

“Enzo.” I talk slowly so I know he hears me. “You’re not a failure.”

He puffs air out his nose. “Doesn’t look that way from here.”

“You’re not.” My voice is firm. “You held to your convictions despite all the pressure in the world. And it’s not your fault Toby ended up doing what he did. You warned him. You gave him an example of a better way to live, and you can’t blame yourself for his mistakes.” Needing him to hear this, I shake my head. “You’re not a man without honor, Enzo. You were strong and true to yourself no matter what. And you definitely don’t need to compromise after all these years just to make me happy. I’d still be happy even if you lost your house and your savings and everything else, just so long as we’re together.” I swallow. “I love you, too, Enzo. I love you exactly the way you are.”

His expression breaks. Tears dripping to his beard, Enzo squeezes my hand. “You do? Even after everything I told you?”

I lean across the bench and press my lips softly to his. A chilly breeze comes off the lake. He’s been carrying that story alone for decades, beating himself up with guilt.

But no more. He’s going to be my man, and we’re going to take care of each other from now on.

I pull my lips back. “I do,” I say simply.

“If you give me the chance, I swear, I’ll never stop trying to make you happy. I’m still a big old jock, and I’m sure I’m going to fuck up. Don’t understand why you even gave me a second look in the first place. But I swear, Damian, I love you so damn much. I’ll do everything I can to make you as happy as you make me.”

I lay my hand on his beard. “I love you, too.” My heart beats hard. “We’ll both make a million mistakes, and I’m sure I’ll find plenty of ways of my own to mess up. But that’s normal. That’s life. And I’d much rather face the hard stuff with you by my side.”

Enzo swallows, voice rough. “I’m yours. As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO

ENZO

I love you.

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