Page 65 of Filthy Rock Stars

I laugh. “See?”

Shadow rolls his eyes as he rifles through the clothing rack. “You’re not a poser. That’s high school bullshit. Adrian is obsessed with calling people posers, so you know it’s crap.”

“Except I never naturally loved rock music. I guess I liked to dance around to some rock songs when I was a kid, but that’s not the same thing.”

“Which songs?”

“I liked all that eighties new wave stuff with the keyboards. But my favorite was that one song, ‘Lovefool?’ By the Cardigans? Is that rock?”

“Oh yeah.” Shadow steps forward and starts to sing it, and I laugh and cover his mouth.

“If you start singing it, you won’t be able to stop for weeks. It’s supernaturally catchy.”

He licks my hand to make me pull it back, and I laugh. “The Cardigans are totally rock,” he tells me. “Which means you are not a poser.”

“I used to get home after school, put it on my iPod, and dance all over the living room.”

Shadow purses his lips and nods appreciatively. “Totally rock and roll. And cute as shit. I’m not going to forget that.”

I grin and push through the clothes, finding a peach suit that I instantly love. “Shadow. Thank you. This is… You didn’t have to do this.”

Has anyone ever done something like this for me?

“Just a call to my assistant,” he mumbles, dismissing it again. “I described your style and asked her to bring some stuff by. You can keep what you like.”

I return the shirt to the rack and take his hand. Maybe Shadow wants to play this off like it’s no big deal, but I’m not capable of that. I know what he’s risking when I go and talk to the band.

I know how much trust this takes, and still, he’s making it nice for me.

I pull him close, slide up against him, and we kiss. His hands land above my hips, fingers sinking into my flesh, and I slide my tongue into his mouth.

“Thank you,” I whisper again, our foreheads pressed together. “For everything.”

“Sure,” he answers. “You, too, Nico.”

I wish I had done something, too. I should have figured out some thoughtful surprise for Shadow, some way to show him that I appreciate everything he’s risking to be with me, the career he’s also putting on the line.

Soon, I promise myself. I’ll find a way to show him soon.

But I don’t say anything now. Shadow has been studiously avoiding the topic of potential repercussions, so I follow his lead. He’s trying to have fun and make this good, enjoy each other through the chaos and uncertainty, and that’s a lesson I could learn to implement myself.

“Want to help me pick out an outfit for today?”

He grins. “Sure, sexy.”

* * *

I sneak out the back of the hotel in my peach suit, my keytar case hanging from my shoulder, and a big black car shuttles me to the studio. It’s strange to be in the outside world again. The hotel was a dream, like living inside of a song for a week.

Internally, I review the salient points I intend to make when talking to the band—my deep appreciation, enthusiasm about their music, and total clarity and honesty regarding Shadow. I’ll make sure they understand the timeline of when the circumstances became known to me, the fact that Shadow’s opposed to the rivalry, that I’ve never tried to lie or deceive them.

My gut ties itself in a knot. I really, really hope this goes well.

Inside the studio, I find the band at their instruments, playing around with a new, catchy song. They immediately all start whooping and complimenting my suit, and I laugh, flattered and flustered, nervous as hell but happy to see them.

“How was the retreat?” I ask.

“Fine,” Star answers. She darts her eyes to Case. “Except someone used all of the coffee on the first day.”

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