Page 46 of Filthy Rock Stars

Solo.

Shadow, I guess.

He stood there, his guitar cocked to the side and his eyes burning my skin, not even playing. It was him, the man I’m falling for, but I could have sworn I was looking at a total stranger.

He’s in Forbidden Destiny. That means he’s been part of this rivalry the entire time, bullying Mare and the band. I even remember Case recognizing Shadow’s guitar riff in the diss song.

Fuck. He must have helped write it. How could I be so wrong about him?

It’s humiliating to realize, but even now, I want to believe he’s the guy I thought I knew. I’m such a pathetic sucker. But I keep remembering the pain on his face as we stood on opposite sides of that stage, the whole world watching us, the truth banging like drums.

“However the band decides to respond,” Mare says, pulling me from my thoughts. “That’s what we’ll do. I want us to figure this out together, okay?”

I look up. It’s dark outside the airplane, and everyone’s partially changed out of their performance clothes, Star’s tie tossed aside and Mare’s makeup wiped off. Our generous seats are all facing each other, and in the room behind us, I can hear the assistants yelling atLive with Coleand threatening to start a boycott of the show.

Star rubs her chin. “Tonight changed things. We’ve got to respond. This is too extreme, and it’s already blowing up the internet. Our fans need to see us stand up for ourselves.”

Case nods. “I agree. It’s important that we draw a line.”

Mare looks at me. “Oh, poor Nico.” She wrinkles her nose. “This was your TV debut, and it got hijacked by this big mess. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “You’re not responsible for what happened.”

“Yeah,” Star agrees. Her face is tight with anger. “That’s Forbidden Destiny. They owe us all a lot more than an apology.”

Case raises his beer. “This is why we’re so happy we found you, Nico. A lot of people in this industry can be real assholes. The whole team atLive with Cole Collins, everyone associated with Forbidden Destiny, they all must have planned this. But you’re not like that.”

Mare nods, holding my eye. “It is rare to find someone we all like and trust as much as we do you,” she agrees. “And even though it’s not my fault we got ambushed on stage, I’m still sorry you had to deal with it.”

“Thank you,” I manage. “I’m sorry you all have to deal with this, too.”

It’s true, but I feel sick to my stomach with guilt. They trust me, but I’ve been hooking up with a member of Forbidden Destiny this entire time.

I need to tell them. I should confess right now, but the thought is horrifying, and I struggle to find any words. Shadow isn’t out of the closet, so even if I want to tell them, I don’t know if I can. Waves of shame and regret crash through me, guilt that I’ve been betraying them, that I might betray him. I’m standing on the edge of losing the band or losing Solo, and either will be devastating.

Shadow, I correct myself. Maybe I’ve already lost Solo.

Something buzzes in my pocket, startling me. I realize it’s the burner phone with an incoming call. It feels like getting caught to have him call me right now, and I gawp at the phone, my pulse racing.

“Take it if you want,” Mare says, noticing me.

“Sure.” I scramble to my feet. “I’ll be right back.”

I slide the tiny bathroom door shut behind me and answer the phone with a shaky hand.

“You answered.”

His deep, steady voice is familiar, almost comforting, but I can’t let myself feel that way. I can’t trust him.

“I answered.”

“I had no idea the band was going to do that tonight. I didn’t even know you guys were going to be on the show.”

I tense. I want to believe him, but how could I? “Okay.”

Silence stretches. If the band knew I was talking to him in the bathroom right now, they’d probably hate me.

Fuck.

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