Page 99 of Filthy Rock Stars

“Shadow!” Elle interrupts again. “Just pull your shit together, okay?” She runs her hands down her black dress, something tight with little black ribbons all over the place. “You look like you’re going to cry, man.”

I suck on my teeth. She knows that I’m upset about something, and she and Adrian both keep hitting me, poking at it.

I know what they’re doing. They’re trying to control me because they want to use me. They’re treating me like my parents treat me, and thanks to Nico, I can see that now.

What fucking blows is that it’s working. They haven’t discovered Nico, and I’m desperate for it to stay that way, so I’m falling in line.

“Right,” I answer sarcastically, then force a wide smile. “Can’t depress America’s teens!”

When Elle turns away, Cutter slides close. “Are you okay, man?” he asks quietly. “You seem bummed lately.”

I push a hand through my hair. “You know. Same shit, different day.” I set my guitar on the stand. “I’m going to find a drink. See you at the table.”

I start searching for someone who will bring me booze. My nerves tingle with awareness that Nico is here. His band is playing tonight, too.

Being apart from him is hard. Really fucking hard. But there’s nothing like the hurt of knowing he’s here. Knowing we’re in the same place, but not allowed to touch.

He should be at my side where he belongs.

“Shadow.”

I turn, and it’s him, standing backstage. Nico wears the peach suit that I bought him, his keytar dangling from his shoulder. People rush by, everyone wrapped up in whatever they’re doing, glitz and glamour, clipboards and microphones and noise.

And Nico. Like a fucking miracle.

I glance around. “Hey.” I tighten my brow and lower my voice, immediately aware of the rivalry and how conspicuous we must be. “We probably shouldn’t talk here.”

Nico hesitates. “Yeah. Probably not.”

But no one seems to notice us. Maybe it’s just luck or the fact that there are too many celebrities in one building right now. But at least for a moment, we’ve got our quiet corner backstage.

He lowers his voice. “I’ll see you tonight? The hotel?”

I nod. “The band will try to drag me to a party, but I’ll get away.”

Nico frowns. “Are they being awful?”

“More than usual,” I admit. “Adrian is especially furious that I tried to leave again.”

I notice Nico tense as a production assistant glances our way, but the woman immediately moves on.

He shakes his head. “It’s not surprising. You’re the most talented musician in the band. He’s probably terrified Forbidden Destiny will fail without you.”

I blink. “Huh.” I rub my temple, kind of stunned by what he just said. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought of it that way.”

Forbidden Destiny would be fine without me, or at least that’s what I always figured. Except as Nico looks at me, believing in me after I was such a fuck-up, I start to reconsider.

Maybe Adrian and Elle are scared to lose me. Maybe that’s why they’re trying to control me—because I matter more than I realize.

Need fills me, the desire to be the man that Nico sees, have the kind of integrity I know he has.

Nico bites down on his bottom lip. He looks like he’s about to say more but stops himself.

“Before you go,” I say quickly, “I need to apologize in person. For everything. For this mess I’ve gotten us in.”

“I’m not mad about the mess, Shadow,” he tells me, fingers nervously gliding across his instrument. “I’m mad that you didn’t tell me what was going on. I can handle your band attacking me and my music, tabloid storms, whatever, just so long as the mess we’re in, we’re in it together.” He frowns. “At least, I thought we were in it together.”

My jaw falls slack. I don’t know what to say, and before I can get any words out, Nico’s eyes get wide. “Got to go,” he says quickly and disappears down the corridor.

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