Page 50 of Filthy Sweet

“Oh.” Owen looks to me, his eyes searching. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“Up to you,” I answer coolly, although there’s a war raging inside of me. I’m desperate for an in with Aya, even if she’s going to keep giving me shit. And a trip with Owen is painfully enticing. But I don’t want to act needy in front of an industry person, and I definitely don’t want Owen to feel obligated to accompany me.

Plus, if she really does have an opportunity, why the fuck wouldn’t she just tell me about it while she’s in town? Something about this isn’t quite adding up.

I clear my throat. “Want to go on vacation?”

Owen smiles. “Well, I’ve never been to California.”

Chapter Sixteen

Fox

Sunday,a couple days after the concert, I sit at my kitchen table and zoom in on the picture Owen sent me, a note written on plain white paper.

Dear Reggie,

Happy Sunday! You’re probably wondering why I left this note instead of just talking to you in person. Well, don’t worry, there’s nothing bad, but I do want to share something with you.

So that guy I’ve been spending time with? It’s actually Fox.

I know your brain just exploded. That’s part of why I wanted to tell you this way, so that you can have a little time to process before we talk. And while you’re taking it in, I need to clarify some things.

1: We’re not dating, and we’re not in a relationship. We’re just having fun.

2: Fox isn’t leading me on, and I’m not going to get my heart broken. Promise.

3: We didn’t tell you immediately because I’m still shy about this kind of thing. I’m sorry! Fox only agreed to keep things private at first because I asked him to.

4: We’ll keep it discrete, so you won’t have to see anything.

Please don’t make a big deal out of this and embarrass me!

Let me know if you want to talk. I love you, and I’m glad you’re my brother.

-O

“Okay,” I say to the empty condo, trying to steady myself. “Cool.”

Owen is dropping the note off at Reggie’s, then coming over here. It’s good. I’m proud of him for doing it and being straightforward with his brother and for keeping his gentle spirit even when he’s firm. I see a lot of integrity in that letter, and that impresses me.

But as I read it over again, my stomach twists with anxiety. Owen has to stress to his brother that I’m not the bad guy, and that makes sense, but it stings. I don’t like him insisting we’re not in a relationship. He’s just saying the truth, but it makes me frustrated and defensive and irrational.

Not to mention Reggie. He’s going to know what we did, and what if he thinks I’ve betrayed him? He might decide I am the piece of shit everyone else knows me to be, and then I’d lose both him and Owen.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to put that out of my mind enough to hook up with Owen today.

Fuck. They’re both so good, and I’m a goddamn train wreck.

Owen arrives, and I wipe my face, trying to hide all that turmoil. I’m in jeans and a T-shirt, dressed down, and I’ve got an old soul mix on the stereo to fill the afternoon and match my rolling moods.

“Hey,” I say, greeting him with a hug. I pull Owen close to my chest, squeezing his warmth, and his minty scent fills my nose. He’s wearing the suit jacket I got him over a T-shirt with a whale printed on it, a fashion choice that totally works, and he wraps his long arms around my shoulders to hug me back.

“You drop off the letter?”

“On the way here. I left it on Reggie’s kitchen table. He should be back from the gym soon.”

I keep a hand on his shoulder, rubbing lightly because Owen seems anxious. It makes sense, considering what he just did, and I do my best to hide my own insecurities so I can stay strong for him.

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