Page 12 of Bound By Love

“Until you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t be so damn moral,” she said in a soft but firm voice.

“Miranda, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, but none of this sits well with me.” I frowned, hating that I couldn’t keep my fucking mouth shut. “But I shouldn’t have been so heartless either. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can.” She took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I’m already planning a trip for next month and for when the baby is born,” Lily announced. She always knew how to break the tension between us.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Wedding season will be in full swing in April. You won’t be able to make it out.” Miranda laughed at Lily’s crazy talk.

“Watch me. I’m going to be there, and you can’t stop me. What good is having Tessa around if I can’t leave for a few days?” Lily pulled Miranda into her arms. “I love you,sweets.”

“I’m going to miss hearing you guys call me that.” I could see Miranda getting overwhelmed by her emotions. I wouldn’t be able to handle another one of her breakdowns.

“You will always besweetsto us,” Tate said with an adorable smile on his handsome face. His eyes took on a glossy sheen. If he cried, I’d come undone.

“Okay, group hug,” Miranda said.

The four of us hugged, then Lily brought us all to our knees, breaking open floodgates across the board when she kissed Miranda’s tummy and said, “Bye, my baby sweets.”

5 Miranda

TAKING THREE DAYS to drive to Washington allowed me to breathe—reflect—and mourn.

I took my time, without worrying I’d be found… for today, anyway. When my mind wandered to Will, I turned up the music as loud as I could handle so I wouldn’t think about him.

The blaring music didn’t help one iota.

It felt weird having all the time in the world and no place to be. Nobody was waiting for me, I didn’t have a meeting or wedding projects to work on, and I didn’t have a dinner date with Will.

I hadnothing, nothing at all.

If there was a way to wipe Will out of my mind, I’d welcome it. Not that I wanted him stripped from my memory permanently, I’d never wish for that. But I needed time to process what transpired over the last several days. Hopefully, I’d find peace with the decision I had made for my baby and me.

A full day of driving had tired me out. Perhaps it was the pregnancy, but more likely, it was my emotional state exhausting me. Given the events that occurred since Friday night, it was any wonder I could function at all.

All my life I heard “you’re stronger than you think.” It was true. In the last couple of weeks, I’d learned how strong I could be for my child. I could be brave even though I was terrified of moving on, moving forward without my friends and the man I loved.

As much as I wanted to crawl into a ball and die after leaving Will, I believed it was for the betterment of my child. The life growing inside me was my priority now. Whatever I wanted or needed didn’t matter as much as my child did.

After roughly eleven hours on the road, I stopped for the night. I would have arrived hours ago if I hadn’t needed to pull off the freeway to find a bathroom nearly every hour. What an ordeal driving while pregnant turned out to be when my bladder needed to be emptied.

On top of being frustrated with my bladder, the scenery wasn’t appealing through the Central Valley of California. Nothing but concrete, asphalt, and brown vegetation surrounded me. How did anyone live here without beautiful beaches and palm trees?

The thought of never returning home made my heart weep.

But a sense of relief washed over me once I hit Northern California. As the locals called it, NorCal was quite different from SoCal, but I’d found peace among the tall pines and Mt. Shasta north of Redding.

My room at the Express Inn was clean, and the staff was friendly. But it was a far cry from the five-star inn Will had taken me to in Carmel or the hotel in Paris he’d tried to tempt me with so I wouldn’t cancel our trip. I wished I hadn’t postponed our trip to France. Maybe it would have made a difference, then Will wouldn’t have had an affair. What was I saying? It probably wouldn’t have changed anything.

Times were changing for me,Anna Gordon.My standard of living would not be as luxurious as Miranda’s had been. The new me wouldn’t be a successful event planner to the rich and earning a comfortable living, nor would I have a billionaire boyfriend to spoil me.

Nope. My new standard of living would be just that,standard.It was fine. I’d always been a normal, average girl. So long as my baby and I were together, I didn’t need anything else.

The quiet in the room was deafening as I milled about, peeking out the window at the parking lot. The roar of motorcycles had caught my attention. When I couldn’t see them, I turned back to the room and frowned at the maroon linens, forest green carpet, and laminate furniture.

I sighed pathetically. Event planner Miranda could have afforded a suite, but Anna could only afford economy accommodations. I couldn’t afford to be frivolous.

After I washed my face, I crawled into one of the double beds and stared at my new phone. I hadn’t talked to anyone since I left this morning. They were probably worried. A text to put their minds at ease would be okay. And I needed Lily.

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