For my children…I gazed at the blue sky. Today it was the same color as Miranda’s eyes. I hoped I’d get to have children with her. “Do you really think I could?”
“Hell yes, I do! You’ve always been a smart, compassionate person. You’re a lot like Grams. One time I overheard her and Grandfather arguing about the stupid hierarchy in the family he’d created. Gram was furious, saying how it wasn’t fair how her grandchildren weren’t treated as equals. And his response was, ‘I don’t know how to change it.’”
“Wow. Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“I don’t know. But I bet you could come up with a way to change it. I remember you saying once that you wished the responsibilities of SJI didn’t fall on your shoulders. Well, let me tell you, it doesn’t have to. I’m here for you, cousin.”
“I’m a little overwhelmed hearing all this. Stunned actually.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’d only meant to ask about helping my mum… and Lily.”
“Lily?”
“How’s she been?”
As if I didn’t already have enough on my plate. Of course, I told him I’d see what I could do about his mum.
But Lily… there wasn’t anything I could do about her. Apparently, she had blocked his number. When he’d asked if she was seeing anyone, I told him I didn’t know, which was the truth. Then I enlightened him on Miranda and me, how we weren’t on the best of terms, so he’d understand why I didn’t know anything about Lily.
When Henry asked me point-blank if I loved Miranda, I answered swiftly,Yes, more than anything.But I followed up my statement with,But sometimes, love isn’t enough to keep two people together for reasons beyond our control.
Henry had responded,I know all about that.
We chatted a bit longer before I ended the call.
Sitting in my living room with Miranda’s essence everywhere, I’d never felt so alone, so helpless in my entire life. Everybody needed my help, and at any moment, my fucking life could go nuclear. And nobody would be able to help me.