Page 36 of Effing Eli

AUTUMN AND I walked hand in hand along the beach in our new clothes. I let her dress me, something she loved to do and something I had quibbled about back when we were married. I could be an arrogant bastard, too proud for my own britches, as my Gram used to say when I was young and dumb.

Not anymore.

I had taken Autumn for granted, believing she’d always stay by my side. Set on making my own dreams come true while disregarding hers. Cocky and selfish echoed in my head. They were two words Autumn had used quite a bit leading up to her filing for divorce. I had worn them like badges of honor. Stupid fuck.

What had it gotten me? A lonely, pathetic life without her.

“What are you thinking about?” Her sweet voice cut through my thoughts.

“How much I missed this—us in comfortable silence.”

“Mmm, yeah. I missed this too.”

I stopped her and reeled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “The Pacific Ocean is different from the Atlantic, don’t you think?” We stared at the water for a beat.

“Yes. I do love all the palm trees, but I miss fall leaves and snow.” She laid her head on my shoulder as we held each other close.

Seagulls fluttered around. The activity on the boardwalk wasn’t far from where we were. But I was focused on Autumn.

“No ice-skating out here, I suppose.”

She shook her head and expelled a heavy sigh. “How is your family? Gwen and the baby. Your cousins.”

“Everyone is terrific. Cadie turns three in June. Gwen’s been trying to have another baby since she turned two but no luck.”

“Knowing Gwen, she’s probably freaking out.”

I chuckled. My cousin had always conquered every obstacle set before her. “Oh, she is. She and Wilson have started the adoption process and are considering IVF.”

“Go big or go home was Gwen’s mantra. I admire her determination. What about the boys? The Manhattan playboys.”

“Christ, I don’t want to talk about them.”

She turned her face up toward mine and frowned. “Did they give you lots of shit after I left?”

Did they ever. My cousins adored Autumn to pieces. Naturally, they supported me, as any Morgan would. We were a tight-knit family. But I knew those fuckers were angry with me for losing Autumn. My aunt and uncle were great. They stayed out of my business for the most part. Occasionally they’d pry out of concern for me. But each one of their sons had tried to get me to “live a little” even after I told them to leave me alone and go to hell. But they were Morgan boys. Not one of us ever listened to anyone. Well, except their mother, maybe. We were all cocky, arrogant SOBs, all six of us.

“Boo, you know they did.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “They missed you. Maybe as much as I did.”

“They’re so sweet. I missed their antics and manwhoring stories.”

“I’m sure they’d happily fill you in on the last three years.”

“Not one of them has found a nice woman?”

“Are you kidding? They want to stay bachelors forever. Marc had a girlfriend for over a year. We all thought they were getting serious, then she up and moved away. He’s not been the same since but refuses to call her.”

“Geez, poor guy. Well, one of these days, one of them will get a girl pregnant and he’ll be forced to settle down.”

“I doubt it. A baby won’t change them. They’re Morgans.” She stiffened in my arms. “I’m not talking about me, Boo. I want a baby with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I want it all with you.”

She studied me, her fingers twisting through the hair at the base of my head. I wished I could hear what she was thinking.

I came from a respected, prominent family in New York. My parents were killed in a car accident when I was eleven. They were the kind of people who believed their word was their honor. It was a Morgan trait. I saw it all the time with my Uncle Loyd and Aunt Mona, who took me in and raised me. My cousin Gwen was a lot like my aunt and uncle. How they had such wild and unruly boys was a mystery. My poor aunt had kept trying for another girl after my cousin Griff, but all she got were four more sons. I guess they were part of the reason I’d put off having a baby with Autumn. I’d seen the hell my aunt and uncle had gone through raising their five sons and me. It was something I didn’t wish on anyone, least of all myself.

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