Page 26 of Effing Eli

Next Monday, we were to leave on a business trip. We’d be in our old stomping grounds, Manhattan. We were going with two other people. They would be in the way during the day, but I’d have Autumn in my bed at night. Guaranteed.

If she wanted time, I’d give it to her. The rest of the week, I’d stay out of her way and only behave professionally when around her. If I knew Autumn, she wouldn’t like the space despite requesting it.

Lucky for her, I knew how to be around her without physically being around her. I just hoped I didn’t piss her off in the process.

9

Autumn

DAVINA HAD A craving for loaded baked potatoes and a Caesar salad, so she was busy in the kitchen. She wouldn’t get any complaints from me. I loved it when someone else cooked. Plus, I had other things on my mind. Or more like someone.

I was sprawled out on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with effing Eli on my mind. Not that he was ever far from my thoughts, and more so since he unexpectedly dropped back into my life.

“Stop thinking about him.”

I turned toward Davina’s voice and rolled my eyes. Not like she could see. “Leave me alone.”

Eli’s promise of giving me my heart’s desire had been tumbling around my head all damn day. Davina knew this and kept telling me to “stop already.” I would if I could.

But why now, after all these years, would Eli want to have a baby with me? Why did he let me go in the first place?

Since he dropped me off at home on Sunday, I’d been a hot mess. My emotions were all over the place.

I loved him.

I hated him.

I craved his touch.

I hated his touch.

Crap, I could still feel him inside me. The very thought made my clit throb.

The day we signed the divorce papers, I’d already accepted the job at SJI. I couldn’t stay in Manhattan, even though the East Coast had been my home my whole life. But being in the same city as Eli would have tormented me, especially if I ever saw him with another woman. My greatest fear back then had been him having a baby with someone else. It would have destroyed me because I’d really believed he loved me and was my soul mate.

“If he truly loved me, why did he let me go?” I shouted so Davina could hear me.

“Because he’s an idiot.” I heard her padding toward me. “Wine?” She handed me a glass.

“Thanks.” I moved my feet so she could sit. “He’s not giving up. He said he would never give up and that we belong together.”

“And do you agree? That you belong together?”

“I used to. When we first got together, there was no question I’d found my forever man. Then I turned twenty-five and wanted a baby.” I sipped my wine. “Remember when we used to talk about having a baby before we turned thirty?”

“No, babe. You talked about kids. I’ve never wanted them.”

I considered Davina. She was four years old than me. We were close when we were young, but she’d moved away with her boyfriend after college and never returned. They broke up two years later and she stayed in California and had been single since.

“Okay, I used to talk about it. A lot. I wanted three kids and to be finished by the time I turned thirty.” I growled and took a gulp of Merlot. “That sure didn’t happen. Not even sure I want three anymore. My ovaries are probably shriveled up anyway.”

Davina snorted and almost spat out her wine. “Stop. You’re young.”

“I turn thirty-one in a few months.”

“Nowadays, women have babies in their forties.”

“I wanted to be done well before forty. If Eli loved me as much as he maintains, why didn’t he love me enough to give me a baby?”

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