Page 67 of The English Professor

He knows from my quickened breaths that it’s coming and I can’t stop it, won’t stop it. I jerk fiercely while Jack is still inside of me and within seconds he’s coming too, collapsing on me and then planting loving kisses all over my face.

When he speaks it punctuates the silence. And all he says is a line of poetry that he’d read to me weeks ago at his place.

‘That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet,’ Jack murmurs quietly, quoting Emily Dickinson.

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THE NEXT MORNING, NEITHERof us say much, our speech crushed from feeling the immense weight of the unknown now dawning upon us.

Jack leaves a key inside a tiny container, covered in pebbles, then underneath a rock, as though he’s done this many times before and we put our bags in the boot of the Range Rover and take off.

We make the journey back to Castle Eden in relative silence, sometimes stealing shy smiles at one another or singing softly to the radio. No matter what happens going forward, we will always have this. We’ll always have our mini-break in the Lake District. Forever.

Chapter 33

Jack

Idon’t have any teachingor meetings so I’m working from home today and I swear, it’s never felt more like hiding away from all my problems. Since that getaway in the Lake District with Leyna, it feels like everything I know has been turned upside down. I’m not sure what I expected when we left the cottage and returned to Castle Eden, but it feels like I’d left a part of myself back there.

And maybe I had—because the solitude I was so used to now feels crushingly lonely and the silence deafening. I’m not sure what I expected. I had invited a beautiful woman away with me and it had been amazing and now we’d both gone our separate ways, well, as separate as could be when you live in the same area and work in the same department. Isn’t that why I’m working from home? So I don’t have to see Leyna and can therefore defer dealing with my feelings a bit longer?

The house is freezing. I find the digital temperature on the wall and push the buttons until the boiler turns on. The house somehow feels emptier than it usually does. There’s no logical reason for it other than the fact that I’ve been spending so much time with Leyna that my sense of normality has been completely upturned—even hot and cold feel different to me now.

I return to the sitting room and this article I’m reading but I find myself stopping every other sentence to stare blankly out the window. My mind is like a pinball machine, thoughts jumping from one topic to another, unable to stay focused longer than a few seconds. There’s no point in this, I think, tossing the paper aside. I need to have full concentration to read at this level and I just can’t right now.

It hadn’t taken long to see there were problems with the restaurants, though I was no further forward, unless you counted actually admitting that therewasa problem. That had been my crux, after all—I hadn’t been giving the restaurant-business-side of my life the time and devotion necessary because I’d been too focused on marking exams and teaching students who didn’t care.

Even I know that’s a cop-out. I hadn’t taken care of the restaurants because they brought up so many painful memories. Finally, an honest statement. And it had taken numerous calls from employees so concerned about the state of affairs in order to get me there. And what had I done? I’d brought Leyna—like a security blanket. Only, I know she is more than that. All I can think about is Leyna these days. She is a breath of fresh air and a beautiful distraction from my normally chaotic and dysfunctional life.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when my mobile rings. I say a silent prayer for the distraction, only to regret it a second later. ‘Hi Kenny, you alright? Thanks for calling me back. I need your help with something else. I need you to visit a couple of my restaurants in the Lake District.’

He’s quiet. ‘You havin’ some trouble?’

I need to finally admit that something more was afoot, possibly something I couldn’t handle by myself. ‘Yes. I’m not sure what it is. I just have this bad feeling. I’ve had a few phone calls and some of the employees seem...’ I search for the right word. It isn’t scared. ‘Reticent to talk? Something’s going on, Kenny, and I need to figure it out fast because those two restaurants are bleeding money. No one’s talking, not really, but there are red flags everywhere. I need someone I can trust.’

‘Righty-ho! I’ll head over this week.’

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