Page 41 of The English Professor

‘Do you think it’s wrong to have a relationship with someone at work?’ I ask them.

Gerik leans in, intrigued. ‘Who is it?’

‘You don’t know her and before you say anything, nothing’s happened,’ I say.

‘That’s a lie, isn’t it?’ Dalton says grinning. He isn’t one to mince words.

‘It’s a bit of a lie. But it’s also a genuine question. Do you think it’s wrong to sleep with someone from work?’

‘Are we talking another colleague, or a member of staff in the same department?’ Dalton asks.

‘I know what you’re doing and I’m not giving away any more details because you’re going to try and figure out who it is.’

‘For what it’s worth I don’t think it’s wrong,’ Gerik jumps in. ‘But I do think it can lead to trouble. Remember Jasinda? When that went south, I had to leave. We couldn’t be anywhere near each other. It was a nightmare.’

Ihmmin agreement. Gerik is right. Unless I’m absolutely certain whatever I have with Leyna is going to lead to something more, maybe I ought to just treat it for what it is—an intense mind-fuck that is purely sexual in nature, that’s all.

‘Don’t listen to Gerik. You’ve got to invite her over to apologise, to make her feel like a fucking queen. What were you thinking?’ Dalton shakes his head.

‘What makes you think I need to apologise for anything?’ I demand.

Dalton looks at me like a schoolteacher would his student. ‘I am only going to ask this one question: how many times has she been ready to fuck you and you’ve turned her down?’

I don’t say anything. I just stare back at him.

‘That look tells me way too many times and that’s why you need to apologise!’

I stare at both of them with an exasperated look. ‘It’s just that I worry about her. You know what the department is like. If they find out—’

‘Who isthey?’ Gerik asks.

‘Everyone! The academic staff, the administrative staff...’

‘And you think she wouldn’t be able to handle it?’ Gerik queries.

I sit back and think about Leyna. Really think about her, not the version I have idealised in my head these last six months. The Leyna I’d seen day in and day out outside of work, in my house, and at the art class. Did she seem like a shrinking violet? Images flash in my mind and I’m grateful neither Gerik nor Dalton have access to them because they’re not exactly PG-rated. The Leyna I am slowly getting to know isn’t afraid to push the boundaries of inhibition or exposure. It’s almost as though she takes pleasure in exploring how far she can push herself, and others. She’d pushed me further than I’d thought possible. Finally I say, ‘Maybe you’re right. She’s quite self-assured.’

‘There you have it,’ Dalton interjects. ‘You need to set your own fears aside and—’

‘And buy her flowers,’ Gerik interrupts before Dalton has time to come up with some sort of debauched plan.

I sit back in my chair and take stock of the situation. ‘Maybe you’re both right.’

We finish our pints and talk more about gossip around the university. Dalton says there are rumours that we’ll be getting a new Dean in the Faculty of Arts and Humanities. Gerik tells us about what’s happening in the archaeology department and it’s a nice distraction from everything that’s happening in my private life, but I realise that they may have a point and as soon as I get home later that night, I text Leyna.

Can you come over?

She replies in less than five minutes.

Be there in one hour.

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‘SO, I’M NOT SURE WHYI’m here again,’ Leyna says, getting straight to the point.

‘I think I was unfair on you yesterday.’ We’re standing in the long hallway of my house. The stained-glass door of the entrance lobby is shut behind Leyna and we are stood beside the sideboard where I always leave Leyna’s payment in an envelope. It’s still sitting there from the other day.

Leyna cocks her head.

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