Page 69 of The English Professor

He looks at me like he’s deciding whether to tell the truth or to make a joke of it all. ‘I needed a job.’

‘We all need jobs.’

‘Hmm... Do we, though?’

‘Most of us do? Why wouldn’t you have needed a job?’

‘My uncle. He wants me to take over the running of the family estate at Farnley.’

‘Does he not have any children?’

‘He does. Just the one son. But my cousin has never fancied doing anything remotely responsible in his whole life. If he’s not travelling, he’s in a casino or he’s...’ Dalton trails off. ‘Young me thought that becoming an academic would essentially give me an out of thefamily business, so to speak.’

‘You know, you and I are more alike than you think.’

Dalton raises an eyebrow.

‘I chose academia for pretty much the same reason, only my stepdad had restaurants, not manor houses.’

‘House! Just the one.’

‘You know, you can always do both.’ I say the words before I realise what I’m actually saying. Was I really about to give someone else advice about living two lives at once? How well was that working for me? Dalton merely shrugs, like he isn’t about to give it much thought.

The placard for the Four Swans pub swings wildly in the north-easterly wind as we enter through the front door, shutting it firmly behind us. It’s only moments before I hear a lot of shouting and ‘Jack! Dalton!’ When I turn to see where the noise is coming from I’m delighted to see half a dozen other guys from work enjoying a pint—or more by the sounds of it.

I nod towards them. ‘Have I missed something? What’s the occasion?’

They point towards the television screen high up in the corner of the room. Rugby apparently. The match is Italy v. England, and I can see Dom looking rather dejected in the corner. ‘You alright?’ I ask him as I sit down. He just flings his arms up in the air and there’s no need for words, but I say, ‘Mate, you know better than to watch an international rugby match in an English pub.’ Dom drops his head into his hands. I pat him on the back. ‘One day, mate. One day.’

Dom lifts his head up. ‘How are you, Jack? I heard about...’ his voice trails off. ‘I heard you have a lady friend,’ he grins, his mood apparently lifted.

Oh God, here we go again, I think. But it’s too late. A few others at the table have heard and now everyone wants to know about my private life. I’m not used to all this attention. Thinking it better to cut this off before they can all pile in, I point my finger around the table, ‘Fuck off the lot of you!’

It’s met with laughter and cheering. ‘Oh, come on!’ They shout back, Dalton’s voice the loudest of them all. ‘Give us a teaser!’

I am bombarded with question after question. ‘Where did you meet?’, ‘What’s her name?’, and finally Dom innocently—I think—asks, ‘What does she do?’

Not looking up, voice deep and over his pint glass, Dalton bellows like a foghorn, ‘SECRETARY!’ to which there are whoops and whistles and all manner of rowdy shouting. Gerik starts to hum some 1970’s porn music and I wonder why I’ve bothered to come out.

‘Fuck off,’ I say over and over to each and every one of them, but they just laugh in my face.

Dom puts his pint down, ‘Does she work in the main office in your department? I think I met her a few weeks back when I came looking for you.’

I nod.

‘Jesus Christ Jack,’ Dom says, laughing.

‘What?’

‘She’s gorgeous. How the hell did you pull that off?’

Everyone bursts into raucous jeers once again. Dalton puts his arm around me, and I shrug it off.

‘Right, you can all fuck off,’ I get up and start pointing at them one by one. ‘That means you, you, you, and,’ I point at Dom, ‘definitely you.’

Dom gets up, ‘Come on, let’s get more drinks,’ he smiles at me as we head to the bar. ‘And you can tell me what your secret with the ladies is.’

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