Page 55 of The Soldier's Homecoming

Daniel arched an eyebrow in her direction as he leaned back against the counter on the other side of the kitchen. “Meaning?”

She finished stirring and filled another large saucepan with water for the pasta. “I just mean that in ten years together we’ve probably only spent maybe a third of that timeactually together.”

He moved his head from side to side like he was thinking about it, or maybe agreeing with her. She couldn’t tell.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Think about it,” she said. “We had one year together before we went off to the army and navy, add our terms overseas in there, and we’ve been more absent than together.”

His eyes met hers. “Maybe that’s why this has been so hard.”

Tears blurred her vision and she turned back to the almost boiling water. “It’s like we always had this idea of what it would be like when we both moved back here for good, but we didn’t really know what it was going to be like.”

Daniel didn’t say anything. As if he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, how to contribute to the conversation, without hurting her.

“I don’t want you to think I’m making excuses, Pen, or that I want to bring this up again, but thinking you were coming home then having that snatched away from me…” He ran a hand through his thick, dark hair and tugged on the end of it. “It was like we had this fantasy of what it was going to be like one day, like it would make everything right, and when that day came it wasn’t as I’d imagined it to be.”

She kept her back turned. “What if it had worked out? What if we’d both finished up at the same time like we’d planned? Been together?”

She heard him sigh behind her.

“Honestly? I don’t know for sure, but maybe it wouldn’t have been so easy. Adjusting to being home full-time is hard, Penny. No matter how much you think you want to come home, you’re going to miss the army so bad you’ll feel like a crack addict trying to go cold turkey. We’ve both made out like everything’s been okay all this time, because that’s the kind of people we are, but there are times when it’s been truly hard.”

As much as she wanted to deny it, to not believe him, she had a feeling he was right. Because no matter how badly she wanted to come home, to be a full-time mommy and leave her career behind, leaving was going to be tough. Just like being a proper wife again would have been tough, even if Daniel hadn’t been unfaithful.

Knowing that she was giving that life away forever was not an easy decision. It was one they’d both been prepared to make, a sacrifice they’d both chosen, but it wasn’t easy. But she’d only ever joined the army as a way to finish her degree, for the scholarship. She’d never intended on serving more than the mandatory four years of service.

Penny dropped the pasta into the pot as the water started to bubble and blinked away her tears. This was not the time to be getting all emotional. She had a daughter down the hall to care for, less than four days to enjoy her company and a husband standing behind her who was trying so hard she was starting to think that maybe he did truly deserve that second chance he was asking for.

“So what was it you said you had planned?” she asked turning a happy face toward him when she spun around.

Daniel was still standing on the other side of the kitchen, leaning against the counter, but the way he was watching her made it feel like he was standing less than a foot away. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his stubble-grazed chin, the soft curve of his mouth, the endless brown pools of his eyes… Hell!

He looked…hungry. Was watching her in a way that sent an involuntary shiver down her spine and a tingle through her lower legs.

“I want it to be a surprise.” he told her.

She hated surprises. “I don’t know, Daniel. I’m not sure about anything that involves leaving Gabby, to be honest.”

He shook his head.

“How about a compromise,” he suggested. “We’ll spend as much time as a family as we can, but when Gabby goes to bed at night, then we can spend time together. The two of us.”

Even if she was going to let him prove himself to her, being alone with him, spending intimate time together, made her feel like a schoolgirl about to go on a first date with her dream crush.

“That’s what we did last time, Daniel, and look what happened.”

He shook his head.

“I’m as worried about her as you are, Penny, but us spending time together is important, too.”

She sighed, knowing in her heart that what he said was true. The last thing she wanted was to leave Gabby after what had happened, but she couldn’t blame her mother-in-law for the way things had turned out last night. It could have happened to any of them. And in less than a week, she wouldn’t have the luxury of deciding to stay home. Would have to go back to trusting Daniel and Vicki to care for Gabby in her absence.

“Give me a chance, Penny, please.” Daniel took her hand and stared straight into her eyes. “Let me show you why I think we can find a way to make this work.”

“I’ve already told you I will,” she said softly.

He tucked a finger under her chin and tilted her face. There was still distance between them, a distance she wanted to close and yet didn’t. Because even the thought of letting him in again still terrified her.

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