Page 28 of My Forever Soldier

Olivia gulped and passed him the balloon. He took it from her with a smile and pressed his lips to the opening. His steady breaths reminded her of his role as a soldier. Was he so kind, so thoughtful, sosteadyin the field?

She shook her head and pushed the thoughts away. When had she gone from thinking about him leaving them to describing him as thoughtful? The man had left them,alone, until he’d swept back into their lives last week. She needed to remember that and not get carried away with things like kissing in the kitchen the night before or…

“You sure you’re okay?”

Luke’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.”

He gave one final blow, then tied the end in a knot. “All done now?” he asked.

“All done.”

They stood looking at one another. Ollie kept trying to think about why they couldn’t be together, why she could never trust him again. But he was making it hard. Her eyes trailed over his face. He just stared at her, the iron clamp of his jaw softening as he gazed back.

When Olivia looked away at last, she felt like a deer just rescued from the glare of lights in the dark. She couldn’t trust herself around him. The pull was too great and it was slowly, surely, breaking all her defenses. He was making her feel as if there was no way out, no way back, except into his arms. And she was wanting it more and more.

“Mommy!”

That did it. Saved by the kid again. Olivia stepped aside and moved in the direction of Charlie’s voice.

“Ollie.” Luke touched her arm, gripped her wrist and stopped her from moving. She looked up, a shiver catching in her back.

She thought he was going to kiss her, say something important,anything. But he just watched her, his gaze digging deep into her heart.

The moment passed. He let go. And Olivia walked toward her son’s room. She could feel Luke still standing behind her. Not moving. Immobile, like a statue.

As she walked, she’d never felt more alone. Because this time she’dwantedhim to do something, to kiss her again, to pull her into his arms, or to simply take her hand and walk with her down the hall.

But he’d done nothing.

Just like how he’d left her. Alone, when she’d been so desperate for his touch, desperate to tell him she was sorry and that she didn’t want to fight with him anymore. And just like before, it was as if a wound had opened within her, raw and painful. Because Luke was the first person she’d ever truly trusted, and she wanted so badly to go back to that place again. Where she could trust him with all her heart and not be worrying about when he was going to leave, or that he was staying with her only out of duty.Again.

“Mommy!”

“I’m coming, honey,” she called back. In one more step she was in his bedroom.

“Look!”

She looked down and couldn’t help but smile. Luke had given him a gun for his birthday, but not the big, black, glossy one she had dreaded. It was carved from timber, a beautifully crafted toy that Charlie had hold of as if he’d never let go.

“Daddy made it himself. Can I show my friends?”

She nodded. “Sure thing.”

Olivia sensed more than heard Luke behind them. She didn’t know if she could even turn to acknowledge him. Every little thing that happened, every action that made them more like a family, terrified her. She had thought he’d make more mistakes, that it would be easier to blame him and push him away. But everything he did right now only seemed to make her want him more.

She kept her shoulders straight, determined to remain confident no matter how she felt. And sure enough, when she turned, those eyes were waiting for her, and she needed every ounce of her strength not to step into his arms. Those smiling, soft, concerned eyes that had been entrenched in her heart since the day she’d met him were focused on her. As if he could see straight through her and into every emotion pummelling her body.

“We all ready for the party?” he asked.

Ollie nodded. As ready as she’d ever be to introduce her husband to the friends she’d made in his absence.

“Will they be here soon?”

Charlie broke their spell. His little voice pulled their gazes from one another, reminding them that they weren’t alone in the room.

“Let’s get out there, kiddo,” she said. “They’ll all be here before you know it.”

Luke shifted his weight from the doorjamb and she watched him move away. A ball of worry stuck in her throat. This was harder than she’d expected. A whole lot harder and then some.

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