Page 62 of Because of Dylan

“But you said you were safe.”

“I was—” I almost say Maslow building. “Nowhere near it. And I wasn’t alone. I felt safe where I was.”

“Were there many people with you?”

“No, just one person.”

“I’m glad you weren’t alone. Is this person a friend you can trust?”

He got me there. I hesitate, then let it out anyway. What’s the point of these talks if I can’t be honest? “Not exactly. Just a person I know.”

“What makes this person safe?” Honesty comes back to bite me on the ass.

“I don’t know. We’re not even friends. He’s someone I know, but I feel safe with him. I know he wouldn’t physically hurt me.”

“Not physically? But could he hurt you otherwise? Has he hurt you before?”

That’s a hard question to answer. “Yes. No. I don’t know. He seems to judge me sometimes.”

“Is he judging you, or are you judging yourself and projecting it on him?”

“Ouch, Doc. That was harsh.”

“Was it? I’m playing devil’s advocate. I’m here to ask the questions you are not asking yourself.”

“Tough love, huh?” I joke with him.

“If that’s what it takes.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“I guess tough love is better than no love.” I laugh.

He chuckles. “It’s good to hear you laugh.”

“It feels good to laugh. I haven’t found reason to very often.”

“You should. If you go around looking for reasons to laugh and be grateful instead of finding reasons for being upset, you’re bound to be a lot happier.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. Life is a mathematical equation. It is part what happens to us, part what we make happen and part how we react to either of those things. But it is not as simple as two plus two equals four.”

“Nope. It’s more like two plus apple equals blue. Unless it’s a Tuesday, in which case it equals taco.”

His laughter is guttural and free. Like something that had been building up for a while and now has a chance to escape. It’s contagious, and I laugh along with him.

“Ah, she can make a joke. This is good. Better than good. This is great. If you try to look at everything through the lenses of humor instead of prejudice, life is a lot more fun.”

“Not always easy, though. There’s a lot of angry people out there.” Myself included.

“Also true. But those people have nothing to do with you. What they do and how they act have no bearing on the way you behave or how you live your life.”

“But it does. It affects me.” I push the heel of my hand into my forehead. A headache is coming.

“Does it?”

“It does. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, right?”

“Yes, if we’re talking about Newton’s third law of motion. But life, it’s not always like that. In life, a non-action can happen. Or the reaction can be much greater than the action that triggered it. Either way, the choice lies with the person in that situation.”

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