Page 107 of Because of Logan

Me: There’s a reason for what you saw Saturday morning. Just give me a chance to explain.

Me: Please?

Me: I love you. You know I do.

My phone goes dark. Dead. Is this an omen?

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Day three without him.It’s the last week of school before winter break. The kids at my daycare job are restless and eager to go on break. Later this week, I have my last two finals this semester. My mind isn’t in the right place, but I force myself to get up, shower, and get dressed in leggings and aStar Warshoodie. It’s “wear your favorite movie” day at the daycare, and all the kids seem to loveStar Wars. River went to Pat’s to get us coffee and some pastries. She thinks the sugar will make me feel better. I barely ate since that morning and only did it while she was hovering over me like a mother hen and practically force-feeding me.

The silence is broken by River’s hurried footsteps into the living room. She comes to the kitchen and just looks at me. She’s white as a ghost and breathing so fast, she’s hyperventilating.

“What? What is it?”

“Skye.”

All she says is my name, but it scares me.

I take a step closer to her.

“What happened?”

I don’t even know what’s going on and my eyes are already misting.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

River’s crying now. River never cries, and I’m terrified. My heart contracts with fear and races as if trying to escape my chest. I don’t blame it. If I could escape myself, I’d run too.

“You’re scaring me. What happened?”

A thousand thoughts assault me in unison.

Another shooting at Riggins?

Someone hurt River?

Mom?

Dad?

LOGAN!

My head is shaking, and I step back as if retreating and denying whatever River is about to say would make it any less real.

“It’s Logan. Something happened. I’m so sorry, Skye. He’s been shot.”

She’s speaking.I can see her lips moving, but I hear no sounds other than the pounding of my heart in my ears. River tries to hold me, but I slap her hands away and turn my back to her. Something takes over me, possesses my body, and I’m no longer me. Raw, burning pain claws at my chest and steals my breath away. I’m heaving and feel sick to my stomach, but it’s empty and there’s nothing to expel. Her arms come around me and I fight her. I fight my sister because I can’t fight the hurt. I push her away.

A part of me watches it all from the outside. Looking in, I see myself fall apart, lose control, become rage and pain, trapped in the body of a twenty-one-year-old woman. The other me watches with curiosity and detachment. She watches me as I break down.

A stinging burn on my left cheek brings me back from the abyss I fell into. A voice reaches me. Low, very low at first, and then it grows.

“Skye!”

“Skye, listen to me.”

Firm hands grasp my upper arms and shake me.

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