Page 105 of Because of Logan

The voice of doubt rears its ugly little head again. It had been a long time since the little monster made itself known, but she’s here now. Loud and clear.

He never really loved you. What did you expect?

You don’t deserve him. You picked Bruno over Logan. What kind of love is that you claim to have?

You’re nothing. You’re not good enough for him. Blake was right.

My hands cover my ears to stop the voice.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

I feel dirty. I want out of my skin. That’s not possible, so I settle for ripping the sheets off my bed and taking a shower.

River comes into the hall as I’m walking to the small laundry room behind the kitchen.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing?”

“Getting rid of his smell. The sheets smell like Bruno’s cologne.”

Her eyes go wide.

“Did you—you didn’t...”

River is studying me, looking for something, but I’m empty except for the pain.

“Did you sleep with Bruno?”

The question makes me want to laugh into hysterics.

“He slept in my bed, but I didn’t have sex with him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I can see her visibly relax.

“Why did Bruno sleep in your bed?”

I suck in a deep breath, hoping the extra air will shift the pressure in my chest. It doesn’t work.

“Sidney broke up with him. He was a mess. You were coming home, and he didn’t want you to see him like that. It was snowing so hard and I didn’t want him to drive in it. I told him to go hide in my room until you went to bed.” The words come out of me in a monotone. Empty of any feelings or emotions. The anger from before evaporates. I’m no longer angry at Bruno for putting me in this situation. No longer angry at Logan for not giving me a chance to speak. No longer angry at myself for keeping secrets that destroyed the best thing that had ever happened to me. I feel nothing. I am nothing. It’s all empty space. I can’t take this anymore. I drop the bundle of sheets to the floor.

“I’ll do this later. I need a shower.”

“Skye?” I don’t make it far.

“Aren’t you going to call Logan?”

I answer her, but I don’t turn around. “He won’t listen.”

“You have to try. Make him listen to you.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“He said the same thing.”

“What?” I didn’t quite hear what River said. Her voice was low.

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