Page 5 of King of My Heart

At first, it’s the kiss I always wanted from him as a little girl. It’s loving and tender as he plays with my lips and shows me the romance he never showed anyone.

And then, it’s the kiss I’ve begged for as a woman since he’s been back. His tongue breaches the barrier of my lips and intertwines with mine in a passionate embrace. I moan into his mouth from sheer satisfaction. I pull myself closer to him as my hands land on his chest and tighten around his t-shirt.

He groans when I bite his bottom lip and he pushes back harder, dominating the kiss with a strength he rarely uses toward me. His hand in my hair becomes painful, our teeth clash and my lungs beg for air, but he doesn’t stop. He ravages my mouth, my lips, and causes havoc in my heart.

He ravagesme. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

In this moment, nothing else matters. Just him. The British prick who stole my heart when I barely knew how to use it. Who stormed back into my life and never let me get away from him.

Finally. Fucking finally.

For a minute, all my dreams come true. My life becomes clearer, my brain takes a rest, and my fears fly away.

Until he breaks the kiss so suddenly my body shivers.

“Shit,” he hisses as he gets up and steps away.

I can’t help my eyes from widening in shock. Is that regret in his features?

We’re both panting and looking at each other, but I have nothing to tell him for once, and he looks like he has everything to say.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I…fuck.” He huffs as he runs a hand through his black hair. Always short on the side and long on the top. Always gelled back.

I slowly get up and walk to him. “Don’t!” he snaps. “Stop it, Rose.”

“What? I don’t get it.”

I’m trembling, because I was so close to my wildest dreams coming true, and I can currently see them fading away.

“I can’t do this. Don’t you get it? Stop it. Stop pleading with your eyes every time you see me. I see the imploration in them. I see how much you’re in love with me. I can’t give that love back, do you understand? I cannot love you, Rose.”

“But…why?” I rasp.

I’m not even going to deny I’m in love with him. I’ve always been; this isn’t news to anyone. I’ve tried lying to myself too many times to pretend anymore.

“I’m leaving,” he tells me. “You just got a lacrosse scholarship to Duke. I’m leaving, and you’re going to go to college and have a life free of all the shit I’m involved with. Ikillpeople for a living, Rose. Do you think I want you involved with that? Do you think Nate wants that for you after everything he’s put himself through to free you from Bianco?” His British accent is so strong when he starts talking fast. His T’s are sharp, his consonants a true hit to the heart.

It’s a real struggle to swallow the rock stuck in my throat.

“All these things are to protect me, and I get it.” I try to keep calm, try to hold on to the hope I felt a minute ago. “But what doyouwant? You’re in love with me too. You’re not a liar, and you can’t deny it.”

He shakes his head but stays silent.

“Come on, admit it,” I rage.

“You fell in love with me at such a young age.” He sounds so sorry. Why does he sound so sorry? “You needed someone to protect you, needed to escape the reality Bianco put you in. I can understand that. I was happy to fill that role for you.”

“No,” I try to cut him off. I don’t like where this is going.

“We got separated suddenly. It was a rough fracture, and you couldn’t get rid of those feelings because of that. Because you kept imagining where it would have led if we had still been in each other’s lives.”

“That’s not t—”

“Nowhere. You loved enough for the both of us, but I never reciprocated those feelings.” His voice is so cold.

I’m still panting, but this time it’s from all the rage and sadness flooding me. “You’re a liar,” I push past my tight throat. “I know you feel the same as I do.”

“I’ve got a boyfriend, Rose. I’m in love with him, and I can tell you that what I feel for you is nothing like what I feel for him.”

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