Page 100 of Giving In

“Sushi?” I question.

“I thought you liked sushi,” he smiles.

“Jake–”

“You barely ate anything today, Angel. I can’t have my pretty girl starving.”

I don’t say anything as he starts the car. Is that his way of saying sorry?

You’re not his girl. Say it. Say it, Jamie!

I keep quiet.

When he parks in front of my house, he takes my keys from his backpack and opens his car door. I follow with the food and my own bag.

“Are you really just going to invite yourself to my house?” I scoff as he puts the keys in the door.

He opens for me and gets out of the way while still holding the door open for me.

“Sadly not. I promised Rose we’d have dinner together tonight. Otherwise I would.”

He must see the confusion on my face because he raises an eyebrow. “I thought you said you liked sushi.”

I almost want to laugh in his face. This guy has inexistant social skills, how did the whole school end up liking him? I bet he learned the right things to say, the facial expressions from other people and is just copying and pasting them on his face. Like a real sociopath. I shake my head and walk in.

“Thanks,” I murmur.

“They’re really good, I go to this place all the time. I hope you like them.”

A smile tugs at my lips at how random he can be, but I try not to show it. I can’t let him think that he can bully me during the day and offer me sushi for dinner as a sorry. Surely, he can understand that’s not how it works? I mean, I’m still naked under my skirt.

“Bye Jake,” I say as I close the door on him.

I drop the bag on the kitchen bar that separates my tiny kitchen from the rest of the living area. I look into the sushi bag, the boxes are elegant. This is not regular takeaway. This is Stoneview takeaway. I reach for the receipt all the way at the bottom. Sushi for one, 90 dollars.

“This town makes me sick,” I mumble to myself.

Jake makes me feel sicker. I’m getting whiplash from our interactions and I am so mad at him right now. How can he think this is okay?

And yet, I wish he had stayed to eat with me. I wish we could have sat and got to know each other better. I wish I could understand the reasons why he doesn’t get affected by basic human emotions.

I can’t see Nathan over the weekend, he’s out of town for work, although I’m still not one hundred percent clear on his job. Something to do with sales.

I try not to think about Jake, but his face keeps slipping back into my mind. I keep being reminded of his hard muscles and his stupid smile. I try to control my brain but two nights in a row I fall asleep touching myself to thoughts of him, of his deep voice when he ordered Landon not to touch me, of his hand holding me and his other ripping my panties away. I think of all the things Jake said to me, all the promises of pleasure.

On Sunday night I fall asleep with a new thought creeping up at the back of my mind. Despite the kindness and the love between me and Nathan, maybe he just isn’t the one.

CHAPTER 19

‘I’m a mess

But I’m the mess that you wanted’

Dancing With Our Hands Tied – Taylor Swift

Jamie

On Monday, I have to skip lacrosse practice for a shift at the Bakers’ café. They extended the opening hours to early evenings and I got all the late shifts this week apart from Friday since it’s the Halloween Ball night.

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