Page 96 of Giving In

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I argue. “You weren’t even here. You have no idea what happened, you didn’t know him!”

If I was the one missing, Aaron would have given every single second of his days looking for me. The police dropped the case after six months, and that was them doing us a favor because of dad.

‘He’s not a minor anymore, Mrs. Williams, we’ll never know if he left of his own free will or not’ I remember the new sheriff saying. If they’re not going to look for him, who will? The last people who saw him alive were Volkov’s men. The man with the huge scar on his face, more precisely.

“I know when something is a lost cause. And this is eating you up from the inside.”

How did this turn from his sketchy flirting technique to telling me my brother’s case is a desperate cause?

Because he saw the picture, idiot, he just told you.

“Let me out.” I have to force the words out of my throat. It’s too tight to sound convincing and my voice resembles a mewl. So, I accompany them with a big push. “Let me out!”

The light suddenly turns on and I have to put my arm in front of my eyes to not be blinded. Jake’s hands land on either side of my face and he pushes me hard against the shelves.

“Stop wasting your time and energy on things that make you miserable. Stop trying to be a P.I. for yourself. Some people are never found, Jamie. Trust me, I know that. It’s been three years; your brother is dead. And if not, he simply doesn’t want to be found.”

The sob that wrecks through me cuts my airways. I want to slide to the ground, but Jake is holding me up. He’s forcing me to face reality in the mirror of his eyes and I don’t know if I want to kill him or kiss him for taking such a huge weight off my shoulders.

I can’t count the number of times Emily has begged me to let this go, but how could I? Coming from him, it hits differently. He doesn’t beat around the bush, he doesn’t know how to treat others’ feelings carefully. The cold hard truth is hard to swallow but makes me feel freer than ever.

Aaron. Isn’t. Coming. Back.

And I think I truly needed to hear it.

???

On Thursday, Jake texts me asking to join him for lunch. Scratch that, Jake textsorderingme to join him for lunch. Since Emily is with the group of assholes, I ignore them and join some friends who are putting together the yearbook.

They’re not my friends per se but everything they do has to run through me or Cole, the other student body president. Cole doesn’t get involved though, he’s only on the committee because of his popularity, so responsibilities fall back on me. Good, it keeps me busy and it gives me an excuse to eat with this group.

“Who is going to take the pictures when lacrosse season starts?” Mila asks.

She’s a little thing with curly red hair and big brown eyes but she can get annoying real quick. She’s the one putting everything in order for the book and editing it.

“Taylor M. took them last year but obviously he’s gone now.”

I can barely focus on my lunch because every time I look up, Jake’s eyes are right on me. He’s got a smirk on his face, as if he knows exactly why I’m eating at this table and knows how futile it is. He won’t reveal my secret just for this, he loves playing with me too much. But I can tell he’s got something in store and it’s stopping me from swallowing any of my food.

“Jamie W.?” Mila insists.

My eyes snap back to her and Landon, both sitting in front of me. Why does shehaveto call everyone by their first name and the initial of their last name? It can be so irritating.

Landon gives me a shy smile. He could be attractive if he tended to his teenage growing beard and got a haircut occasionally. His eyes are a piercing green and I always feel like they can read my thoughts. He adjusts his Armani glasses resting on his nose as they both wait for my answer.

“Uh...” I hesitate. “I’m sure we’ve got plenty of other photographers. Have you asked Kaylee?”

“Kaylee R.?” she asks for confirmation. God, Mila it’s not like there are a hundred Kaylee’s in our school.

“Yes,” I answer, barely refraining the ‘duh’ from passing my lips.

“She said no. She said it means she can’t be on the cheer team and she doesn’t want to give that up.”

I refrain myself from rolling my eyes and glance at Jake’s table again. He’s finally stopped staring. I look at all of them, eating and laughing together. Chris is trying to get Rose to finish her fries – it’s a weird move but she is skinny and it wouldn’t hurt her to eat – but Luke gets in their way and grabs her plate. Hold on, this gives me an idea.

“What about Luke?” I suggest. I remember the pictures in Jake’s room, he said Luke took them and they were beautiful.

“Luke?”

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