Page 95 of Giving In

Anger is boiling in my chest and I feel claustrophobic, trapped between Jake and this picture.

“Move, I’m not joking around,” I seethe.

“Me neither, I don’t joke when it comes to you.”

His hand on my waist makes me jump and I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t do this, not like this. Not while the younger, happier and braver version of myself is looking straight at me, her brother healthy, alive and present. Jake’s other hand slowly slides on the side of my left thigh until it’s under my skirt.

“Stop. I’ll scream.” My voice is steel, and I feel his hand freeze on my leg.

I don’t know if it’s my threat, if it’s because some people are still in the area or if maybe he’s taken pity on me, but his hands suddenly disappear. Not long enough to allow me any respite, though. They both come to rest on my shoulders heavily and his mouth comes close to my ear.

“Follow me, we need to discuss your latest theft.”

I haven’t stolen anything from the coffee shop since I’ve started again but the threat of revealing my secret is clear. I swallow the lump in my throat and follow him.

I try to keep as much distance as possible, so people don’t get the wrong idea but when he stops and I’m forced to catch up, I know he’s got something in mind. He grabs my waist just as my gaze lands on Camila and Beth walking to class late. I try to push his hand away but there’s nothing to do, their gazes are lethal, and I feel them on my back until they walk into their class.

“You’re delusional,” I scoff when he opens the door to the janitor’s closet. If he really thinks I’m getting in there with him, he’s got another thing coming.

“Again, you don’t have to fight me every single step of the way,” he smiles.

“Every single step of the way?” I exclaim. “What way?! Where the hell is this going?”

He huffs and pushes me inside, following me and blocking the exit. It’s pitch black and I look for the switch but I can’t seem to find it.

“Jake, this isn’t funny. I don’t want to be late to class. Unlike you, if I don’t meet the conditions of my scholarship, I won’t go to college. No one else is going to pay for me.”

“That’s exciting, where will you be going?”

“UPenn, asshole.”

He chuckles. What’s so funny to him?

“What are you really angry at, Angel?”

“You,” I growl.

“I didn’t ask who, I asked what.”

He can’t see me, but I feel my brows furrowing in confusion. I don’t know what he’s talking about but I’m not going to reward him with an answer when I know he’s trying to trick me into something.

“Some problems you’re never going to solve, Jamie.”

“What?” My brain tries to work out what his goal is, but I’m completely lost.

“I saw what you were looking at, the picture in your locker. You don’t usually get that angry at me. You know, because you got a thing for me. But today, you saw that picture and you’re shutting me out. I don’t think I’m the one who made you angry.”

My heart drops in my stomach, heavier than rocks. I have to take a step back, but I hit shelves straight away. I’m suffocating in here, it’s too dark, too small, a second ago it smelled of bleach but now all I can smell is Jake.This is why he froze; he didn’t push me because he saw what I was looking at.

Jake doesn’t reach out for me, he stays where he is, his voice lacking emotions. “You can try to get to Volkov. You can try to do it through Sam, or you can walk into his bars and sex houses, talk to his sellers. You can put your life at risk all you want; some questions might never be answered. Some mysteries are never solved, no matter how much you investigate, no matter where your morbid curiosity takes you.”

“I–you,” I stutter, but the words don’t come out.

How does he know? He knows about my brother, he knows about Volkov. He knows everything. Who told him? It’s not impossible to find in old news articles but he traced my whole plan, understood entirely what I was trying to do.

“He’s gone. It’s not your job to look for him,” he concludes.

The tears building up in my eyes are begging to be let out. I let anger overpower me instead.

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