Page 81 of Giving In

Jake has been completely ignoring me in the past weeks. In fact, his whole group has. Chris hasn’t been addressing me with a single word since what happened at the party – which is probably a good thing because I don’t think I’ll ever see him as the embodiment of kindness and respect ever again. No one has mentioned the fact that I was there when Samuel showed up at their house and saw that they can be so hostile to each other behind closed doors.

The twins have gone back to being their arrogant selves. The image everyone has of them as two gods among humans, contrasts dramatically with the two mere mortals that were arguing at their house with their glasses and messy hair. The way Jake avoided talking to Samuel, the way Rose’s voice faltered when she begged him to leave.

Everything they present to the rest of the world is pure show. From the contact lenses in their eyes to the way they carry themselves. Jake is darker than he lets out and Rose is weaker than she pretends.

In the last few weeks, they’ve passed me in the hallways without as much as a glance. They’ve eaten a table away from me and kept to themselves. Even sitting next to Jake in English didn’t earn me a single word. At no point did I think he would have noticed what I was wearing.

The only thing keeping me remotely close to the group is the fact that Emily has been regularly hooking up with Luke. She is actually looking like she’s falling for him and who am I to get in the way of that? Luke is probably the nicest of all of them. He’s the goofiest and the most open and, while he’s got a player’s reputation, she’s no stupid girl. She knows what she’s doing.

I decide to ignore Jake’s text because fuck him. When I show up to school the next morning, I’m wearing another pair of pants, the navy-blue ones. Emily takes extra time to perfect her make-up before we head out of the car and toward our school. Not far, Luke gets out of his car and soon enough he is heading towards us with Rose and Jake.

“I’ll catch you in first period,” I say, eager to get away before they reach us.

I’m about to escape but Emily puts her hand on my arm. “Wait, how do I look? Does it look like I put too much effort?”

“What? Since when do you care if you’ve put too much effort in your looks?”

She frowns, not quite understanding my reaction and I try to run away again but the three of them have already stopped right in front of us.

Fuck. My. Life.

“Morning, gorgeous,” Luke beams as he grabs Emily by the waist and brings her closer to him.

He looks tall compared to Emily, which is funny because Jake and Rose make him look tiny. She lets out a giggle and they start making out.

“Dude, get a room,” Rose complains straight away as she pulls a cigarette out of the pack, and I can’t say I disagree.

I avoid looking at Jake at all costs and keep my eyes on my best friend.

“See you in English, Em,” I say as I leave even though I know she can’t hear me. She’s in Luke’s world now and God knows she won’t come back down until the end of the day.

I walk away without glancing back. I want to support Emily dating new people but how am I meant to hang out with her if her circle of friends becomes the same as Jake’s? This is simply not compatible. Of course, she knows nothing of the game Jake has been playing but she knows I don’t appreciate him. How can she just leave me behind?

I angrily push the door to the girls’ bathroom and check every stall before I let out an angry growl. I’m so lonely and the only person I want to be with right now is Nathan. Only, Nathan is somewhere in Silver Falls and I’m probably the least of his worries.

I look through my backpack to find my lip balm, but I think it got lost somewhere between my books and all the shit that’s accumulated with time. I keep one knee up to maintain the backpack high enough to dig deep. I finally pull it out, balancing books in my other hand and trying to keep my bag open enough to pull the lip balm out, my knee still in the air. The door suddenly bursts open and I jump in surprise, dropping my books, the lip balm, and half of what remains in my bag on the floor. As I put my leg down, I slip on one of my books and end up ass first on the floor.

I shake my head trying to process what just happened. I look up and catch Jake locking the door. He turns to me and I can read the anger on his face.

“This is the girls’ bathroom.” I attempt to sound like I don’t fear what’s about to happen but my voice quavers.

He snorts as if saying ‘like I care’ and steps toward me in huge strides. I get up in a hurry but before I can ground myself, he’s got a hold on my jaw and pushes me until my back hits the wall. I bring my hands up to his arm, but he doesn’t budge.

“I’ve been trying to get you out of my head for weeks, Angel, and yet my thoughts keep going back to you. I think I’m really going to have to fuck you out of my system, making you come didn’t work.”

My eyes widen at his words but my whole body tenses in anticipating pleasure. I don’t have time to reply as his mouth crushes mine. The taste of mint and tobacco invades my tongue as he forces past my lips. I moan in his mouth when his other hand grabs my ass to pull me higher. On my tiptoes, I’m out of breath, my lungs are about to explode but I still never want this to end.

When he breaks away from me, I gasp to get air in my burning chest.“Jake, you have a girlfriend,” I protest.

“Don’t act all innocent now, it didn’t bother you at Chris’ party.”

He pins me harder against the wall and starts kissing my jaw, my neck. He nibbles at my earlobe and I melt under his touch. He starts unbuttoning the top of my shirt.

“Admit it, you can’t resist me, Angel.”

“I– ” I have to take a huge gulp of air when his lips caress the top of my breasts. I can’t admit that I can’t resist him. He knows it already anyway. So I settle on something else.

“We’re at school,” I sigh in pleasure when one of his hands starts massaging my breast through my bra.

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