Page 77 of Giving In

“I think you’re evil. That’s what I think.” I reply coldly.

He softly grabs my face, both hands on my cheeks as he brings his face closer to mine. His lips are so close, hovering over mine. His breath smells of mint with a hint of weed and tobacco. I didn’t see him put cologne on this morning, but it seems his natural scent is the one I’m addicted to; wooden and dominant.

For a second I truly believe he’s going to kiss me, my thighs tense and I close my eyes, butterflies growing in my stomach. I open my eyes when I feel his hands leaving my face, one of them sliding from my cheek to my throat.

In a split second, his eyes go from the Mediterranean Sea to a storm in the middle of the coldest ocean. Before I can grasp how truly I’ve angered him, his hand tightens around my throat making me jump but helpless.

“Jake–” I try to say but my words get stuck in my tight airways.

“Iamevil, Jamie. So much more than your naive mind can envision. I’ve done things you couldn’t even fucking imagine. But I didn’t rape you if that’s what you want to know. I can snap my fingers and have a dozen girls on their knees ready to suck my cock. Cam at the front of the line. You ain’t special, neither is your cunt so get over yourself.”

I claw at his hand, but he doesn’t shift. My ears are ringing from the strength he’s using. I know I’m pleading with my eyes, my throat too tight to talk, but he doesn’t care in the slightest.

He tightens his grip for effect before letting me go. I gasp and cough, trying to get air in my lungs while he sits back in his seat as if nothing happened.

“Wh–what are those things you’ve done?” I ask in a small voice, massaging the skin where his fingers were.

Out of everything he said, this is what my brain stays stuck on. Call it curiosity or call it suicidal, I want to know. Maybe because I care, maybe because he’s another mystery I’m desperate to solve.

“I don’t owe you explanations.”

He really thinks he’s above everything and everyone, doesn’t he? His behavior is riling me up. I never asked to be the girl who awkwardly gets kicked out of the house the morning after. Nor the one he decides to bully because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“So I can’t ask questions? It’s all fine to kidnap me from my house. It’s all fine to keep me around all evening and it’s all fine to...to…” I can’t go further without heat spreading on my cheeks and reaching my ears.

Why am I like this? He just tried to strangle you!

Jake’s self-satisfied smile spreads on his face. Is this really the only thing that takes him out of his bad mood? My embarrassment?

“Keep going,” he insists.

“Screw you, Jake. You had no right to do any of what you did yesterday.”

“Your wet pussy thought otherwise. So did your begging.”

I can feel the anger and frustration I’ve built up since yesterday about to explode. Does he need to be this raw? He talks like a convict that hasn’t seen a woman in a decade. There’s no point trying to converse with him.

“You got what you wanted. Just stay away from me,” I conclude as I open the door.

I can’t help slamming it behind me.

For a second I hope he’s going to get out and grab me. Be his forceful self and tell me that I don’t get to walk away. Follow me inside, say he didn’t get what he wanted, that he’ll always want more. I’m torn between his violence and the way he was hugging me this morning. Surely that meant something.

But nothing happens. The next sound I hear is not the door opening as he runs after me. It’s the sound of the car turning around as he leaves me. Because Jake is not one to run after someone when he’s done wrong. He doesn’t care. He’s no prince, no hero and he certainly doesn’t care about the effect he has on me.

I get in my house feeling more ashamed than ever. I hate him. I hate him with all my heart. Deeper than I ever hated anyone.

I go straight for a shower. I need to get him off myself. Him, Chris, this whole group is fifty shades of fucked up, incestuous and respectless, and I don’t want anything to do with them anymore. Ever.

When I’m out of the shower I check the time on the oven in the kitchen. 12:34.

Jake White has already ruined my evening, my night, and half of my day. I’m not giving him another thought. I grab my phone that had been left on the counter and check it. My mom must be worried to death. As soon as my eyes land on the screen something hits me hard.

Nathan.

I have a date with him today. Scratch that. I had a date with him an hour ago.

I check the few texts he’s sent me since yesterday, my heart beating a hundred miles an hour.

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