Page 38 of Giving In

The Bakers pay her shit. They have chains of coffee shops and restaurants all over the country and my house could fit five times in theirs. They live a golden life and never gave my mom a raise. My mom lost her husband, she’s raising me on her own. She’s doing what she can, and a couple hundred dollars missing a month doesn’t make much of a difference to them.

When she told me about this, she expected me to shame her because I’m a rule follower. Rules werenotmade to be broken in my opinion. But this was different, so I asked her to teach me.

Small town, no POS system, no cameras, and owners that never show up. It’s just too easy. Now one order out of five paid cash we ‘forget’ to register on the till. We take the order, make the coffee and take the cash. If it’s never been registered, the money can’t be missing.

These stolen dollars are my pocket money. My trips to Silver Falls with Emily. My lacrosse kit. This meal is probably paid with the Bakers’ money.

“How long will you be gone for?” I ask with a dry throat.

“I’m not sure, it could be six months, it could be one for all I know.”

There’s a long silence. It’s so heavy that I almost suffocate.

“You’re almost eighteen, ‘Me, and I trust you completely. I know you’ll be fine on your own and if there are times you don’t want to be on your own, you can go to the Joly’s.”

“I... guess.”

I don’t want to be on my own. I miss my dad and Aaron every day. I don’t want to live without my mom as well. I know it won’t be for long, but it still scares me.

“What if something happens?” I ask a lump in my throat.

This is what losing family members does to you. You live in fear that anything could happen at any time. I don’t want to lose my mom. I want to keep her close.

“Aw sweetie, nothing will happen to me. I promise.”

She takes me in her arms and holds me against her chest. If mom isn’t here maybe it gives me more space to focus on finding my brother. I can spend more time working on this. Finding out what truly happened to him. I can make it my mission and when mom comes back, I’ll have answers and, who knows, maybe more.

“Ok, mom.” I pull away from her. “You go take care of Ruby. I’ll stay here. But promise me that if you need anything you’ll call? You’ll ask me to come if it gets too hard.”

“I promise, sweetie.”

“When is your flight?” I ask.

“Oh, we can’t afford flying, ‘Me. I’m driving there.”

“What? It’s like a ten-hour drive from here to Franklin!”

“I’ll do it in two days. Don’t worry about me. I’m just sorry you won’t have the truck.”

I shrug, “Meh, what am I going to do with it without a license anyway? I’ve got my bike.”

And just like that, I’m going to be all alone.

CHAPTER 8

‘I’m heading the wrong way, and I’m a trainwreck’

Trainwreck – Banks

Jamie

I spent the rest of Sunday helping mom pack so she could leave this morning. It all happened so fast I’m not really realizing she’s gone. I should feel more alone than ever but I’m not. All I’m thinking of is finding Aaron. I will not rest until I have answers. I will not rest until I know if he’s alive or dead. And if he’s alive I will find where he is, and I’ll bring him back.

Emily and I are sitting outside, eating our lunches. It’s such a beautiful day for mid-September. Jake didn’t speak to me at all today, but it doesn’t mean he ignored me. No, he throws me a knowing look every time he crosses my way. Like he’s keeping an eye on me. Like he doesn’t want to let go of the control he had on Friday night.

“Are you gonna spill what happened on Friday? I’ve got you at home every day now so don’t think you’re going to avoid this conversation.”

“I’m not going to come to your house every day. Only when your dad cooks,” I joke and hope it will change the topic.

---