Page 27 of Giving In

Of course, I knew. They broke up on Monday. They were bound to be back together by Friday. It doesn’t matter that Jake gave me attention during the week and that my body responded to it. Ultimately, he’s Camila’s.

At least Chris hasn’t gotten to him yet. I’m going to the bathroom and I’m leaving this party. I need to text Emily and let her know.

I struggle to turn away from Jake and Camila but when I see her taking over his mouth and him gripping her hair possessively, it’s too much. I turn around and make a beeline down the hall. The bathroom must be one of the doors I passed on my way back to the living room.

I try the first door but it’s a closet and I can hear moans coming from behind the coats. People need to get a hold of themselves, is everyone justthathorny?

I close the door in a hurry and walk to another one, the music has turned clubbier. Beat and bass are ringing in my ears and I’m suffocating. I’m hot from the alcohol and while I’m notdrunk,I’m definitely not sober.

Where is this fucking bathroom?!

A door opens on my right and I see Rose stumbling out of the bathroom. I expect to see someone after her but she’s on her own – Stoneview rumors tend to include Rose, sex and bathrooms. She wipes her nose a few times and stashes a tiny plastic bag in her back pocket.Oh.

“Goody,” she smiles at me, her voice raspier than usual. I realize that she’s dressed exactly like Jake except her black jeans are skinny and her black t-shirt is falling off her right shoulder, showing her black lace bra and making it all in all a lot more feminine than Jake’s outfit.

“Are you okay?” I ask worriedly. Is she going to die? Overdose? Does she usually take drugs?Why do I care?When she learns that I’ve told Chris about Sam she’s going to kill me.

“I’m perfectly fine,” she replies, slowly walking to me. At least she can walk in a straight line. “Hey, can I tell you something,” she says as she stops right in front of me. She’s so close I can smell her. It’s unbelievably sweet for someone with her personality.

“Uh, yeah,” I hesitate, my throat drying up from the closeness.

She looks down at me and locks her ocean eyes with mine, a cocky smirk plastered on her face. God, she’s tall. I have to look up to meet her eyes. The heat from her closeness is starting to warm me. She smells like whiskey and flowers in the spring. This defines Rose just right, the perfect balance between badass and feminine.

She slowly raises her hand and glides it in my long hair. Her other hand tilts my chin higher before sliding to my neck, my arm and finally settling on my waist.

“That leather skirt looks very good on you,” she says, her eyes not leaving mine and slowly licking her upper lip with the tip of her tongue.

My heart is beating a hundred. million. miles. per. hour.This. This is the Rose White effect. You hear it from everyone at school. She’s so seductive everyone falls for her. Hell, people fall for her when she’s not trying and right now, she’s definitely trying. I’m speechless and I’m surprised the heat radiating from my body isn’t burning her hands.

Wait.Am I gay?

Surely, I would know by now, wouldn’t I?

“I–” I lick my bottom lips, why does my mouth feel so dry? “Thanks.”

She chuckles. “No, thank you. Really. Bathroom is all yours.” She steps back and I feel the spell lifting. I shake my head like crazy, not really understanding what just happened. I make a beeline for the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

I’m not even into Rose. I’m just drunk. My stomach tightens at the embarrassment. I push my back against the door and slide down to the floor. What is wrong with me? I need to start learning to read the signs.

You know what? People need to stop sending me the wrong signs!

Parties are just not for me. This is the first and last party I will go to. I feel sick thinking about what Chris just told me. He’s not interested. He never was. How could I have been so stupid to think that Chris Murray wanted me?

Chris is into girls that are the total opposite of me. I hate to give into the rumors but this one feels too true to ignore. Too many girls at school have talked about Chris and Jake’s ‘sexcapades’. They like sharing.

That’s why Camila hates Chris. When she started dating Jake she thought, Chris, being the nice one of the group, would have her back if Jake slipped. Instead, they’re always having their fun behind her back.

Chris likes girls that are wild enough to have threesomes. Too bad for me I’m just a regular 17-year-old who doesn’t take drugs, indulge in sex parties and live the high life like Stoneview’s finest. I guess I thought if he cared for me, I might be able to change him.

But who am I kidding? Why would it be different with me? Chris is wrong, I’m not smart. Not smart at all. I’m pretty stupid actually.

I hear a familiar voice behind the door and stand to attention.

“Hi, love,” the British voice says, and I distinctively recognize it as Sam’s.

I’m brought back to the beginning of the night. ‘You’ll never guess who’s here’ Rose said to Jake.

I stand up and put my ear to the door.

---