Page 115 of Giving In

She sucks in a breath and I know she’s struggling between being good and evil and I want her on the dark side so...so bad.

She shifts to the side, but I grab her small hip with my right hand, keeping her in place. I know I’m holding her too tight, I know she’s hurting by the way she just took an inward breath but I’m silently hoping to leave a mark on her skin, to bruise her just so she knows who fucking owns her.

I grab her chin with my other hand, and I feel her teeth rattling at the force.

“Y–you’re hurting me,” she says in a small voice.

“Am I now? Guess you shouldn’t have tried to get away.”

“Please, Jake. Just let me go,” she pleads.

I would but what she doesn’t understand is every whimper, every begging word, and every plead makes me want to hold her even tighter just to hear her beg some more.Thisis how fucked up I am.

A lot of girls have been fine with it until now, especially Camila. They loved the dominant side of me, they loved being told what to do and they loved the pleasure I gave them in exchange. But Jamie...something is still holding her back and it’s driving me to the edge of insanity. What is it?

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want me.”

She squeezes her eyes shut and struggles to swallow but I don’t let go. If it’s true, I want to hear her say it.

“Go on, Angel. Say it to me.”

When she opens her eyes, she has a determined look in them. “Jake I–”

I don’t know if it’s because I’m scared of what she’s going to say or because I’m an impatient bastard, but I don’t let her finish. I just capture her lips with mine. I need to show her who’s in charge, who controls her, who decides what happens between us.

Control. Control. Control.

Jamie brings out the worst in me. She doesn’t bend to my will. She listens one minute and rebels the next. She doesn’t give in and I want to take everything she doesn’t want to give. Starting with this kiss. I push my tongue through her lips, forcing her to part them.

This is wrong, so wrong but I can’t stop it. She reminds me of all the times I wasn’t in control. All the times someone took things from me out of my own free will. Every time I suffered from being the puppet for others.

She pushes flashbacks of my fucked up childhood through my head and in exchange I feel the need to control her and prove myself that I’m not the same weak kid I used to be because, with the way she controls my heart, she’s the only one that can still make me doubt that.

In one last masochist thought, I remember when she shared a kiss with Chris. I’m almost certain it was her first kiss, and I hated my best friend for taking that moment away from me. So much that I pushed him to be there when I made her come for the first time. I had to show both of them that she belonged to me.

The memory makes me tighten my grip on her, roughen my kiss. She whimpers under me but, as I expected, she finally lets go and her tongue intertwines with mine. She responds so well to my kiss it’s like she was made for this only. Made to kiss me and no one else.

In a split-second everything changes, she pushes at my chest, hits my shoulder, tries to turn her head, and obviously rejects the moment. I take a step back, letting go of both her hip and jaw, and before I can understand what’s happening, I feel the sting of her palm against my cheek.

The sound resonates through the cafeteria and my mouth falls open.

“You’re notlisteningto me,” she hisses. “I can’t do this anymore, Jake. I can’t be your little puppy that you call when you want to play. I’m human, I have feelings and none of them include wanting to be your toy!”

I see red. I know she’s talking, I know she’s addressing herself to me and explaining herself but my ears are ringing with rage.

I’ve been hit and my brain is on high alert. I’m taken back to all the other times a hand or a fist landed on my face or my body and I. See. Red. I’ve been hit when I had sworn to myself that it would never happen again. I’ve been hit and there’s only one way my beast replies to violence.

She’s still talking but I can’t hear her. I grab her by the throat and push her against the wall. Her head hits the wall hard and she cries out something I can’t hear. She goes to hit me again, but I grab her wrist, then the other one, and lock them above her head. I know I’m holding too hard when she whimpers and twists under me.

“Stop! You’re insane, stop!” she shrieks.

But I can’t, because I got hit and I don’t control my body anymore. She’s such a fucking tiny thing, I could break her right here, right now. I could hurt her so badly she would never recover.

I bend down and graze my teeth against her jaw then go down to her neck and bite hard. She screams and it rings in my ears, electrifying my whole body with pleasure.

“Please, Jake stop,” her voice falters and I look up as tears start to fall down her cheeks.

“Cry harder,” I growl. “It turns me on.”

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