The doctors say Emily is going to survive but it’ll be a long road to recovery, not physically, but rather mentally. They want her to be admitted to a long-term mental facility–both the parents and the doctors–but I’m not sure that’s the best course of action. I won’t know until I get the chance to talk to her myself, but that’s proving rather difficult.

The only reason Nick and I know any information at all is because his mother called to give the smallest details all the while saying that he is prohibited from seeing Emily. It should not be a surprise that I’m on the banned list too. The fact that I was even able to get into the hospital is a miracle considering how the Callaways rule this town with an iron fist.

When all else fails, I’m not above begging to get what I want. In this case, I had to call up an old friend who wants absolutely nothing to do with me. To my surprise, she agreed to let Nick and I see Emily.

The birds sing morning praises outside the lobby windows of the waiting area. Nick paces back and forward in front of me, chewing on his fingernails. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s usually so in control and he’s spiraling. I have empathy for his world burning down all around him, but I know better than to say too much right now. He’s a man of few words and just the same, he doesn’t crave the comfort that would come from my own words. Not right now.

Paige approaches from the end of the hall, gesturing for us to follow from a distance. I gesture towards Nick and point towards Paige. He instantly follows suit as I make my way down the hall to meet Paige outside Emily’s room.

“I’m going to keep a look out, but we’re not expecting Mrs. Callaway anytime soon. That being said, if I give you the signal, I need you to get out of there as fast as possible. I’m risking my job for this.”

“Thank you so much,” Nick says in a rare display of grace before slipping through a crack in the open door.

Before following him inside, I turn to Paige and grab her by the arm before she can walk away. She narrows her eyes on me and shakes free of my grasp.

“I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for letting us see her. I know you’re risking your job, but I just want you to know that it means the world to me.”

“We’re not friends, Addison.”

I shake my head, confused. “Then why did you do this?”

“Because she asked to see you and as much as I hate you right now, I don’t hate that girl.”

I exhale and look away. “Do you think you will ever forgive me?”

“I think that you can’t erase what’s happened and that leaves us in a tough spot. You left without saying a word, without regard for the damage you left behind.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” I say lowly, not even convincing myself that I’m telling the truth.

“You always had a choice. You just chose wrong.”

Of course, I had a choice. I’m well aware of that. I’m reminded of my bad choices every minute of every day. “I was young. I didn’t know better.”

“You’re making excuses for doing things a young kid knows better than to do. Basic human decency isn’t something that magically comes to you when you’re an adult. I don’t hate you for what you did, but I don’t trust you and I think it’s best if we leave things at that because there’s not enough time to say what’s really on my mind.” She brushes a hand through her hair and exhales. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an actual job to do.”

I watch her as she walks away, knowing it might be the very last time I ever see her. It’s sad to know that the person I counted on the most as a child is now nothing but a memory. She’s the reason I even came back, but not because she wanted me to return. It’s because she’s always doing the right thing even when it doesn’t jive with her own sense of right and wrong. She believed my mother needed my help, so she called me. She believes that Emily needs me now and so she’s risking her job. She’s too good for this world and truthfully, I never deserved her. The moral thing for me to do would be to leave well enough alone.

I clear my head before stepping into the hospital room, fully expecting World War Three. Nick stands at Emily’s bedside. He holds her hand as he lowers his head to kiss her on her forehead. It’s an act of tenderness that’s out of character for him, but I imagine almost losing another sibling has shaken something loose in him. It’s a nice change of pace from the man I first met in the bookstore.

He reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone before stepping past me. “I’m going to let you girls talk for a few minutes. I need to go make a phone call.”

After he closes the door behind him, I approach the bed with equal measures nerves and balls of steel. I did the one thing I promised I would never do. I betrayed her trust and now I have to live with the consequences of that. I reach for her hand, but she swats me away.

“I’m sorry,” I say meekly as if I’m begging for forgiveness, and perhaps I am. “I didn’t want any of this to happen, and I know I shouldn’t have said anything-”

“If you want to burn your world to the ground. If you’re always on the mission to destroy it, then just destroy it and leave the rest of us alone.”

“I don’t blame you for hating me.”

“That’s the thing I hate the most. The fact that I don’t hate you. I want to so bad because it would make things so much easier.” She bats her eyes, forcing the faintest hint of tears out. “When I was up there in that bathroom, I thought I just needed to look into the mirror and scream, but the more I looked at myself, the more I realized just how much I hate who I’ve become. I’m a Callaway, through and through.”

“You’re not like the rest of them,” I assure her.

“I almost killed you and your mother. It’s been eating me alive every day since it happened. It’s like I always end up back outside your house, watching it go up in flames. I can’t escape it and I can’t erase it, so I’m just stuck reliving it.”

“I forgave you back then and I’m telling you that I forgive you again. You fucked up and that’s okay. You’ve been through hell and back. Nobody expects you to be perfect.”

“If you didn’t come back, none of this would be happening.”