“There’s one more thing you should know….” I begin, but stop myself, knowing that if I continue, it’s a betrayal of trust that will ensure Emily and I never have a relationship again. I take a deep breath and force out the words, “I didn’t catch Carter raping some random girl.”

He furrows a brow. “Please tell me that it wasn’t you or tell me that it was because maybe then things will make sense.” He stops himself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was an awful thing to say.”

“It was Emily.”

ChapterSixteen

NICK

The love I always had for my brother is the same love that I never questioned would wane. It’s more than waned now. It’s gone, destroyed, and replaced by an unrelenting hatred that threatens to send me into a downward spiral like no other. A part of me wants to go to his grave with a shovel in hand to dig up his corpse, burn the remains, and scatter them on the concrete floor of a prison cell.

How could my brother, my baby brother, be such a monster? How did I never notice? I always knew he was an asshole. That shit runs in our veins like a curse upon the Callaway men. It is predetermined that we are incorrigible pieces of shit, but this is a new low. When I first heard what he had done to the other girls, it flipped my world upside down. To know that he was doing it so close to home, to his own flesh and blood… There aren’t words to describe the feeling.

The plan to destroy my father is placed on hold, although there’s a very good chance the sorry son of a bitch will have a heart attack when he hears the news. It’d serve him right.

Addison sits on the bed, her hands gripped around the sides. Her head hangs low, lost in contemplation. She’s been begging me not to say anything because of some promise she made to my sister, but this isn’t something I can sweep under the rug and pretend I don’t know. I push the curtains to the side, staring out at the city below as if I’m looking for someone or something in particular, but I’m not. I’m just gazing out the window, confused and angry.

“Please don’t do this, Nick,” Addison pleads lowly, under her breath. She knows it’s a fruitless endeavor because we’ve been around this block of arguing too many times to count over the last twenty-four hours. It always ends the same, both of us flustered and angry.

I can’t bring myself to look at her fully. Not right now. She has this power over me that I can’t explain, but this is the one battle she’s not going to win. “The only way I’m going to call this off is if you tell me right now that you’re lying.”

“I can’t do that.”

I cock my eyes to her briefly, but go right back to staring out the window. “Because you’ve told too many lies, or because for the first time in your life, you’re telling the truth?”

She rises to her feet and approaches, positioning herself in front of me so that I no longer have the choice to avoid her. “I promised her that I would never tell you or anyone else. She’s never going to speak to me again.”

Finally, I look her straight in the eyes. “That’s a small price to pay to make sure my sister gets the help that she needs.”

She drags her hands over her eyes and lets out a groan. “Fine,” she scowls. “I’m lying.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Addison.”

“I made it all up.” She takes a measured step backwards and while I know she’s lying about lying, there’s a part of me that is eager to believe her. It would mean that I could bury this newfound hatred for Carter and continue living a somewhat peaceful existence. “You know that saying,hurt people hurt people?Well, you hurt me, so I turned around and hurt you right back. Tit for tat. That’s what we do, right?”

“I guess we will just have to get Emily into the same room and she can confirm or deny what you said.”

She throws her head back, aggravated. Spoiled, not getting her way. That’s the Addison I know and cherish. “You’re going to destroy whatever little relationship you have left with her if you go through with this.”

“That’s the last thing I’m thinking about right now.” I retreat to the other side of the bed to get the faintest bit of distance between us. “Do you have any idea how something like this can destroy someone?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “I fully understand the consequences of what your brother did. Why do you think she is the way she is? Why in the hell do you think I am the way I am?”

“Don’t do that.” I shake my head. “Don’t pretend that you weren’t fucked up before what happened with Carter. His actions just threw you over the edge of the cliff. You’ve been fucked up for a long time.”

“You didn’t even know me back then,” she scoffs. “You have no idea the damage this has done not only to me, but your sister as well.”

“How do you not see this?” I let out an exasperated sigh. “This dark thing, this very dark whirlwind of hurt has destroyed my sister and I’m supposed to keep my mouth shut? Are you out of your fucking mind? She needs to know that her family is in her corner so she doesn’t go and do something stupid like you-” I stop myself from finishing my thoughts.

“No, please don’t stop on my accord. Finish what you were going to say.”

I drag my palm over my lips, trying to find the words. But who in the hell am I kidding? In a situation like this, there aren’t any right words to say. I’m trying to reason with the woman that killed my brother because she caught him raping my sister who is now a fucked-up mess that’s strung out on drugs half the time. It’d be a great fucking Lifetime movie if it wasn’t my real fucking life. It’s even worse because I’m caught up in a fucked-up entanglement with the woman that plunged a knife into his stomach and at this point, I don’t even blame her anymore. Now, she looks at me with hurt in her eyes and I remember a time not so long ago when I reveled in her hurt. Now, I want to say the right things so that hurt dissipates. I can’t see the forest through the fucking trees.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay,” I say softly. “She’s on a road to hell and no offense, I know that you’ve traveled that same road. I know that you don’t want her to go any further down that one-way road of misery that you’ve been down. And I know that you think that saying anything at all is going to send her deeper into the abyss of self-loathing, but I’m telling you that I have to try and fix this before it’s too late. I have to try and fix this before she goes and offs herself because of the shame of the secrets she’s holding inside.”

“Sometimes people just want to be left alone.” She begins a slow walk around the side of the bed. “That’s all I wanted. It’s all I needed. If I stayed here and faced what happened head-on, I don’t know if I’d still be alive. It took time to find the strength to face it all and even still, I struggle with the fact that the truth is out there. It makes me feel vulnerable and that’s the worst feeling in the world. I know you don’t understand why Emily swore me to secrecy and why she refuses to open up, but just think about your parents. They’re not the most sympathetic people in the world. Your own father knows what I did because he’s seen the evidence with his own eyes and I’m still alive. His motives are unknown, but they are his alone. If the interest of his children was in the forefront of his mind, do you think I would still be alive?”

She’s in front of me now, towering over me with dominance. I look up to her with what I’m sure looks like the eyes of a puppy, lost and innocent. I hate feeling this way. She drops her hands to caress the side of my cheeks. And then she’s climbing onto my lap, knowing exactly how to get what she wants. I cock my head to the side, trying to avoid her advances but it’s fruitless. She maneuvers my head sideways so that she’s staring straight into my soul. I wonder what she sees. Am I a toy? A puppet? A puppy?