Page 37 of #Beautiful

The purging is just something I will continue to monitor better so it doesn’t get out of hand. For the next hour, though, I don’t plan to purge or do anything other than snuggle into the pillow-top heaven that is this bed. King-sized with a luscious down comforter. Oh, man, this thing is amazing.

“Hey, babe,” Declan says as he crawls up his side of the bed and lays next to me. “You okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” I say as he gently tucks my hair behind my ear. “Why?”

“No reason,” he says as his hand trails down my arm to my side, and stops on my hip. “Candice just mentioned you weren’t feeling well earlier when we landed, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I open my eyes and scoot closer to him, snaking my arm over his side. “Yeah. I think that lunch we had on the plane just didn’t sit right. Or maybe the jet lag was a bit much. I’ve never flown this far.”

Not a lie. Virginia to Oregon is the farthest I’ve gone, and this is my first time leaving the United States.

“Yeah, the jet lag can be a real pain. We can rest for as long as you want, and if you don’t want to go exploring with Darcy after dinner, we can wait until tomorrow. It’s better to try to get over the time difference so that you aren’t exhausted for days.”

Tilting my head back a little, I softly kiss his neck. “Thank you, babe. Maybe we can just see how I feel after dinner, and play it by ear.”

Declan kisses my head and pulls me closer so I’m flush against him with my head tucked into his chest under his chin. “Whatever you want, baby. I know we’re here with our friends, but this vacation is about us, too. So whatever you want to do, I will be down with.”

“How about right now, we get down with a nap,” I say with a laugh.

Declan laughs, too, and holds me tight. It isn’t long before his steady breathing and comfort of the bed have me drifting off. At least I can fall asleep knowing that he isn’t suspicious about anything, and we are good. The last thing I want is him getting upset and us fighting during our vacation. That would ruin it for everyone, and that’s not my intention at all. This is going to be an amazing two weeks.

Chapter 32 - Declan

Eleven days in Italy has been great— for the most part.

Candice and I are quietly sitting on the bed in my and Lena’s hotel room, though, knowing we might be about to ruin the last few days of vacation for everyone. The moment Lena got up from dinner five minutes after she was done, claiming a headache, Candice and I excused ourselves and followed her without her realizing it. We came in here five minutes ago and were greeted by the sounds of her puking— which she’s still doing, and we’re going on eight minutes.

So, when she comes out of that bathroom, it’s time for me to let my fiancée know that this is out of hand, again, and maybe we need to figure something else out to help her. Clearly, therapy and the support group weren’t enough. She’s lost enough weight in the last eleven days that she is starting to look sickly. This isn’t just random purging that her body does as she’s trying to readjust either. She has excused herself after every meal. The first few days, it was just dinner. Then the next few, it was lunch and dinner. For the last week, it’s been after every meal.

A few nights, I’ve woken up in the early morning to her being in the bathroom, so she’s purging even outside of meal times. When we got here, Lena looked healthy. She’s lost enough weight that the dip in her collarbone is so profound, she could fill the damn thing like a soup bowl. I know confronting her might end in the mother of all fights, but I have to. I can’t just sit here and let her keep going the way she is.

Candice and I both startle a little as the bathroom door comes swinging open. As soon as Lena lays eyes on us, she stops abruptly, her eyes widening. For a moment, I just let my eyes roam over her. Her hairline is damp, sweat still beaded on her forehead, her skin paler than usual. She swallows hard as she pulls the bathroom door closed behind her.

“Uh, what’s up?” Her voice is shaky and not at it’s usual tone.

Candice launches off the bed and closes the distance between them before I can even open my mouth. “Cut the shit, Lena. You’re back to the same shit you did all last semester, and we’re tired of being lied to. We can’t help you if you can’t even be honest!”

Lena looks stunned for all of a second before her eyes narrow, her hands going to her hips. “Why don’t you get off your high horse, Candice? If I needed help, I’d ask. If I haven’t it’s because there’s nothing wrong. Why are you trying to start shit where there isn’t any?”

Candice lets out something that sounds like a muted screech, throwing her hands in the air. “What the hell, Lena? You can’t be serious right now. Either you have become real good at lying or you’re delusional! You’ve lost like fifteen pounds since we got here! Declan and I just sat here for almost ten frickin minutes, listening to you puke in there.”

My eyes widen when Lena pushes past Candice, stopping to face me. “Is that what you think?”

Sighing, I stand and walk over to her, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ears. Her expression softens at my touch. “Lena, I love you, and I will stand by you through Hell and back. But you need help. More than just therapy and a support group. If you don’t stop this, it’s going to kill you.”

The anger flares in her eyes again at the same time her cell phone rings on her nightstand. Huffing, she moves around me and picks it up, stabbing the answer button and putting the phone to her ear. “Hey, Gretch.” Her mouth drops open, and her eyes widen, tears filling them. “What? Are you-are you sure? When did you find her?” The tears fall down her cheeks as she covers her mouth.

“What’s going on?” Candice whispers as she steps beside me.

“I have no clue,” I say just as quiet.

“Okay,” Lena says, her tears coming harder. “We’ll be home in a few days, so let me know about the arrangements, okay?”

I move toward her before she’s even ended the call, and everything seems to happen in slow motion. The moment I reach for Lena, she drops the phone, and her legs give out as she collapses into my arms, sobbing. All the anger from a moment ago is gone as she cries, Candice kneeling next to us, resting her hand on Lena’s back as she looks at me with fear in her eyes.

“Baby, what did Gretchen say?”

“She-she found Torrey dead in their apartment this morning,” she says between sobs.

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