Page 2 of #Beautiful

Sandra smiles back with a nod. “I completely understand that. When the whole thing happened between Bo and me that I told you about, it took me months and months to get over it. I ended up doing therapy here on campus, which eventually helped me.”

Another knock at the door makes us both turn and look before Sandra pats my knee and stands. Walking over, she opens the door to my boyfriend standing in the hall, his eyes tight and somehow still the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. I’m still as much in love with Declan today as I was when we first got together— there’s just so much gunk in the way right now that it makes everything hard for me, and I don’t think he’ll understand any of it.

“No fighting, Declan,” Sandra says sternly before stepping past him into the hall. “Lena, I’m here if you need anything.”

I nod and give her another tight smile. Once she’s out of sight, Declan steps into my room and gently closes the door behind him before sitting in the same spot Sandra was in earlier.

“I’m not going to fight with you, Declan,” I say softly, fidgeting with my fingers while keeping my eyes on the bed.

He sighs loudly, and I glance up to find him staring at the bed, too, his face full of sadness. “I didn’t come up to fight with you, babe. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

My head snaps up, and my eyes meet his. “For what?”

Declan scoots closer to me so that his knee lightly touches mine, and he reaches out to take my hands in his. “This summer wasn’t easy for you, and I know I’ve been a tad overbearing because I’m trying to make up for everything. Justus mentioned that maybe my trying so hard is too much for you, and I never even thought about that, so I’m sorry.”

My chest tightens. This is what makes things so hard with Declan sometimes. Even though he screwed up so bad, I know he is genuinely sorry and means everything he says. Sometimes, it makes me feel guilty for still being angry or upset.

Instead of saying anything, I hold my finger up and head to the bathroom. Brushing my teeth quickly, I get back to my room to find him stretched out on one side of the bed. I stop next to it, and he grins, patting next to him. Sighing, I climb into bed and stretch out next to him, turning on my side to lay against him. He puts his arms around me and gently runs his hand up and down my back.

“I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”

His lips press into the top of my head, and he squeezes me to his side. “It’s okay. I’m sorry that I was upset. If I get too overbearing, please just tell me. Okay?”

Nodding, I snuggle closer to him. “Okay. I love you.”

Now Declan sighs. “I love you, too, Lena. More than you know.”

I need this year to be a good year. Freshman year was crap for both of us. This year needs to be different, better. It has to be.

“Maybe we can just hang out here today and watch a movie or something,” I say, propping myself on my elbow and looking Declan in the face. “I hooked up my TV last night, and it has the streaming apps on it. We could start a new show together or something.”

Declan’s smile is captivating as he brings a hand up to brush my hair back and tuck it behind my ear. “We never did start that one show. The Irregulars or whatever it was you said looked good. We could start that one.”

I grab the remote off my nightstand and then turn back toward Declan. Turning the TV on, I let it load and bring up my Netflix account. Finding the show, I start the first episode before settling down next to him. Declan gently touches under my chin, and I look up. Softly, he brings his lips down to mine, and the same buzz that always runs through my body when he kisses me tingles through my limbs and down my spine.

When he pulls away, he taps me on the nose, making me chuckle before he squeezes my side so that I rest my head on his chest. Moments like this, it’s almost possible for me to forget everything we’ve been through— almost. I know that as soon as I’m alone again, though, all the bad thoughts come back, the replaying of the worst moments of last year, and I don’t know how to make them stop, how to make it all go away.

Maybe I need to just tell him what’s going on in my head. Declan always tells me to be honest with him. He’s always pushed for me to be open. Yet, when I try to, through the whole summer, a little voice in my head reminds me that he wasn’t always honest last year, and it keeps me from telling him how messed up I am over all this still.

There’s got to be a way for me to get past this... I just don’t know how.

Chapter 2

Declan

“Next!”

Jackson and I stop talking and step up to the two people standing just inside the campus book store on either side. The way they handle this at the start of each semester is brilliant. We give the person our schedules, and they get the textbooks and take them to the register while we grab anything else we want. It gets students in and out of the store twice as fast, and since it limits the number of people inside during peak hours, it’s not like trying to find our stuff while packed in here sardine-style.

The girl to the left quickly takes my schedule and looks over it. Jackson is standing to the side waiting for me because his guy is already on the move. The girl looks up and bats her lashes at me, and I have to stop from rolling my eyes.

“You pledged Sigma Nu last year, right?”

My brows come together as I stare at her. When the realization hits me, I don’t stop rolling my eyes. She’s the girl that was grinding on my lap at our away game while I was high. “Yep. Testified in court to shut them down, too.”

“Oh, yeah,” she says, nodding too enthusiastically, “that was totally brave.”

Trying to keep my cool, I nod. “Yeah, sure. Think you can hop on getting those textbooks for me now?”

---