Page 10 of #Beautiful

Staring at the message, I keep walking and drown the guys out. Some friends? I can’t explain the doomed feeling that settles in my stomach, and maybe it really is my anxiety, and I need to get a hold of it. I take the stairs to the front door two at a time, and a bunch of our housemates are in the living room. Lena isn’t, though, so I wave to the rest of them and head up the stairs.

Hitting the top of the landing, three sets of laughter reaches my ears. They’re all clearly female, and the knot in my stomach releases. I stop before getting to her door and growl at myself. Jealousy? Really? That’s never been my thing, ever, and I don’t want it to be. Can anxiety cause that? Ugh. I’m starting to hate feeling this way.

After taking a few quick breaths, I walk up to Lena’s door and knock, trying like hell to keep myself calm and push away the irritation and anxiousness running through me.

“Come in,” she calls, and my heart thuds at her voice like it did when I first met her.

Quietly opening the door, I poke my head in to find Lena sitting on her bed with two other girls, textbooks opened in the middle of their little triangle— pens, paper, markers, highlighters, all the school stuff strewn everywhere. “Hi, babe.”

“Why do you look so nervous?” Lena says, staring at me in confusion.

I’m surprised that she actually seems like she’s in a good mood. Maybe she really is just struggling with stuff on her own. I don’t know why I always assume the worst lately. “I, uh, just don’t want to bother you, but wanted to say hi, and I love you.”

Lena smiles and sets her stuff next to her. Coming over to the door, she yanks it open and grabs my hand, pulling me into the room before shutting the door behind her. “This is Torrey and Gretchen. We met at the gym today and then got coffee. Do you want to come study with us?”

The other two girls are smiling at me, but not like the weird seductive smiles I’m used to from chicks on campus. Their smiles are the same soft, friendly ones I get from Candice, Sandra, and the other ladies at PTF. My heart calms a little, and I look back to Lena. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on you all.”

“Not at all,” the girl Lena introduced as Torrey says. “Lena’s bed can hold like another three people. Plus, we have all the makings to color-code your notes, and what kind of friends would we be if we didn’t share our OCD study habits with others.”

I can’t help but smile and chuckle. “Let me go grab my stuff. Med Applications is doing a test next week already. That’s why Justus and I were in the library earlier. Who does major tests this early in the year?”

The other girl, Gretchen, scoffs. “Don’t take Faulkner for Advanced Med Apps. He tests every Friday. Including the first week of class. The guy is a total dictator. Emphasis on the dick part.”

“You a med major?” I ask as Lena slides her hand around my waist, and I put my arm across her shoulders.

“Yep,” Gretchen says with a smile. “Pre-Med Path, so if I can keep my grades up and pass the tests, I could get into Med School next year. We will see, though. A lot of work between now and then.”

“You got this,” I say, nodding. “Anyone studying with their friends instead of being out wasting time is definitely in line to do big things. The rest of our housemates are in the living room watching Paranormal Activity and arguing about whether or not it could really happen.”

The girls laugh, but Torrey gets up and puts her hands up to shush us. “Hey, ghosts are real. I go on investigations every October. They are awesome.”

Gretchen rolls her eyes and grabs Torrey’s shirt, playfully yanking her back down to sit. “Whatever you say, Linda Blair.”

Lena turns to me, and when I look down, she pushes up on her toes and kisses me. Stunned, I forget about her friends for a second and deepen that kiss because it feels like it’s been forever since Lena initiated anything intimate between us. When she pulls away, one of the girls' whistles.

“Got any friends I can get some loving like that from?”

I turn my head and meet Gretchen’s eye, and then the whole group erupts in laughter. Turning back to Lena, I lean down and kiss her quickly one more time. “I’ll be right back. Thanks for letting me come hang out.”

Her expression softens, and she reaches up to touch the side of my face. “I know things are rough with us, but we’ll get back to normal. Everything is going to be okay, Declan.”

Chapter 9 - Lena

The last few weeks of the start of term were a hundred times better with Torrey and Gretchen at my side. They’ve just seamlessly integrated themselves into the PTF group, and they even told me that it’s to make my friendship easier. Neither wants to pledge because they wouldn’t move into the house anyway. I don’t blame them. They have their own apartment on the other side of Greek Row, where all the fraternities and sororities are. But they spend a lot of time with me at the PTF house. Even Declan seems to like them.

Tonight is kind of a celebration. Through food logging and purging, I’ve managed to lose twenty more pounds. And in the last week, Declan seems nicer, and Gretchen agrees, more interested in me— so the weight loss is working. As a celebration, Torrey and Gretchen came to the football game with me tonight. We’re sitting in the front row where I always sit— Candice, Sandra, Darcy, and a few of the other PTF girls are with us. A few of the guys that aren’t on the football team are here as well.

If tonight was the model for our year, it’s perfection. There hasn’t been any tension, no arguing, no weirdness. Not one person has asked me what’s wrong all night. Instead, everyone’s laughing and cutting it up, cheering for our team, especially Declan, Jackson, and Justus. As the band makes their way onto the field for halftime, I stand to stretch.

“Lena! Baby!”

Turning at Declan’s voice, I step up to the railing that looks down on the field. He’s standing beneath where we’re sitting with a huge smile, his helmet in his hand.

“Shouldn’t you be in the locker room?” I say with a chuckle as our immediate friends come to stand around me.

“Yeah,” he says with a shrug, “but I wanted to ask if you’ve had dinner. I know you guys came out here early, so if you haven’t eaten, please get something while you’re here, even if it’s small. I’ll treat you and the girls to dinner after the game.” He glances at Torrey and Gretchen with a wink.

“You spoil us, Declan,” Torrey shouts back as she puts her arm around me and leans in to hug my side. “You can eat tonight. We’ll explain how to compensate later, so you don’t lose progress.”

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