Page 177 of Pride High

Ricky snorted. “I guess you didn’t try hard enough.”

Anthony shook his head. “It’s not funny. I really love him, okay? Do you know how it feels to be infatuated with someone, even though you know it’s completely hopeless?”

Ricky’s face softened. “Yeah. I do.”

“Now imagine some new guy comes along and gets to be with him. Right away. How would that make you feel?”

“I know exactly how that feels,” Ricky retorted. “Cameron, remember?”

“You didn’t love him,” Anthony said. “Not as much as I love Omar. That level of emotion doesn’t happen overnight. But I’m not here to split hairs or argue. I want us to understand each other.”

Ricky blinked. “Why?”

“Because we’re both gay,” Anthony said. “And instead of hating each other, we should be on the same side. We’re going to have enough enemies when the rest of the school finds out.”

Ricky rolled his eyes. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

“I will though,” Anthony said. “About me at least. I’m coming out. To the entire school, even though it scares the hell out of me, because I’m done with secrets. When I saw you in the hospital, I wanted to fall to my knees and beg you for forgiveness, because I hate the idea that you could have—” He choked up, struggling to continue. “Jesus, Ricky… You could have died! And instead of pulling you back from the brink, I pushed you closer.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe not, but I could have been your friend instead of acting like a jealous asshole. Maybe then you would have turned to me instead of trying to take your own life. That’s how it should have been.”

“I don’treallyhate you,” Ricky said, coming over to sit next to him. “I’ve been jealous too.”

“Of what?”

“You have everything that I want. Friends. A boyfriend. A place that actually feels like home. And just when I thought I could have those things too—”

“I was a dick and got in the way,” Anthony concluded.

“A couple of times,” Ricky said playfully. “But I don’t think you meant to.”

“I really didn’t. Well… Except maybe for Cameron.”

“I don’t blame you,” Ricky said. “Heisreally hot.”

“So is Omar,” Anthony pointed out.

“No kidding.” Ricky nudged him and grinned impishly. “Hey, do you want to trade details?”

Anthony laughed. “Maybe someday. When I have details to share.”

“Oh! So you guys haven’t…”

“Nope. I’ve never done anything with another guy. Aside from kissing and cuddling. I guess that made me envious too. We tease you about being a freshman, but from the sound of things, you have way more experience than the rest of us. I’m kind of intimidated by the whole sex thing, to be honest.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Ricky said. “I can give you pointers!”

“Lessons on love from a freshman,” Anthony said ruefully. “I’ll take you up on that. Eventually. Listen, I know how this is going to sound, and I swear it doesn’t have anything to do with your suicide attempt. Even before then, the bad blood between us felt wrong. So do you think we can be friends?”

“I don’t know about friends,” Ricky said, his eyes twinkling, “but I’ve always wanted a big brother.”

“You can have one of mine,” Anthony said. “Although Ihaveoften wondered what it would be like to have a little brother.”

“A gay one?” Ricky asked.

“Sure.”

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