Page 6 of The Awakening of Nina Fontaine

Robin laughed. “I hope for Sarah’s sake that she faresbetter.”

“Remember back when we were young and dating?” Amy asked wistfully. “Back when men had jobs weunderstood?”

“I remember back when you dated men,” Karensaid.

Amy laughed and finished her wine. “Ah, the bad old days.” She grinned at Karen. “You could always switchteams.”

Karen sighed. “Never. I like the D toomuch.”

“Aaaaaand that’s my cue to leave,” Amy said,standing.

Amy and Karen had been young and single in the city when Nina had been setting up house with Peter. Nina had felt so smug, so fortunate to have found her soulmate while Karen dated a string of mediocre-to-awful men. She’d even felt bad when Karen got pregnant, wondering how Karen would manage her demanding job at a small press as a singlemom.

But Karen had risen to the occasion, single-parenthood bringing out a sleeping ambition that caused her to angle for a bigger job, then a bigger job at a bigger publishing house. She’d never found lasting love, but she seemed happy, and at least she wasn’t reinventing her life at forty-five.

“I should go too,” Robin said. “Sarah’s going to think I’ve aged twenty years after all thiswine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Karen said, giving her a hug. “You always lookamazing.”

Amy and Robin picked up their coats from the couch — Nina hadn’t yet bought hooks or figured out how to deal with the outerwear situation in such a small space — and headed for the door. They left amid a flurry of goodbyes and hugs and promised to do it again soon. Then it was just Nina and Karen, who’d insisted on staying to help cleanup.

“You really don’t have to stay,” Nina said. “It’ll take me fiveminutes.”

“I want to,” Karen said. Nina added a coffee table to the mental list of things she needed to buy as Karen plucked empty glasses off the floor. “I could even crash on the couch if youwant.”

Nina smiled. “Stop. I’m fine.Seriously.”

“I know you are, honey.” Karen set the glasses next to the sink and leaned on the half-wall between the kitchen and living room. “But it must be a littleweird.”

Nina nodded. “Alittle.”

“Are you okay?” Karen asked. “Really?”

Nina drew in a breath. “I keep thinking about the house upstate, how cozy it looks with the lamps on at night. I’ve beenwondering…”

“You’ve been wondering?” Karenprodded.

“I’ve been wondering if Peter will remarry and live in it.” It was something Nina hadn’t voiced until now, but it had been there, lurking in the back of her mind, since Peter offered to buy out her share of thehouse.

“That would be shitty,” Karensaid.

Nina shrugged. “The house is his now. He can do what he wants withit.”

“Jesus,” Karen said. “I need morewine.”

Nina laughed. “Sorry. It just seems like we get the short end of the stick, youknow?”

“What end of what stick are we talking about?” Karen said, heading back into the living room to pick up the remainingplates.

Nina went to help. “Think about it: I’m done. I can’t have children, but even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to have any more of them. I have no choice but to figure out how to be a single, middle-aged woman with no family while Peter can have a whole other chance at the perfect life. He can marry someone younger, have children, be a Little League coach. He won’t even be that old when they’re grown. Where does that leaveme?”

Karen wiped her hands on a paper towel — Nina would need to buy dishtowels too — and turned to put her hands on Nina’sshoulders.

“It leaves you free to start a whole new story,” Karen said. “You have a world of possibility in front of you. Embrace it. Better yet, surrender to it. See where it takesyou.”

Later, when Nina lay in bed, the street lamps casting a column of light onto her new duvet cover, she was still thinking about Karen’swords.

Embrace it. Better yet, surrender to it. See where it takesyou.

For the first time since she and Peter decided to divorce, she felt a flicker of something besidesdespair.

A flicker of something that felt a little likeexcitement.

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