Page 35 of The Awakening of Nina Fontaine

Karen tipped her head back and let one of the oysters slide off the shell into her mouth. Nina couldn’t deny that Karen had plenty of sex appeal, but Nina wasn’t sure it was something she could find inherself.

“What if we don’t get to choose?” Nina asked, cutting into the crab cake on her appetizer plate. “What if some of us have it and some of usdon’t?”

“First of all, I don’t believe that. Second, I’d say your red-hot phone makes it pretty obvious you’re not lacking anything in the sex appeal department, and you’re not even trying right now,” Karensaid.

“Hey!” Ninalaughed.

“I’m just saying: if you managed to hook Jack Morgan and Liam McAlister in your uniform, with little to no effort, imagine what you’ll be capable of when you roll out that lingerie and theLouboutins.”

“Hey! I like my clothes.” Even as Nina said it, she wasn’t sure it was true. Did she like them? Or was she just comfortable in them because they helped herdisappear?

“They don’t seem to be hurting you so far, but…” She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“What?” Ninaprodded.

“How do you know?” Karenasked.

“How do I knowwhat?”

“How do you know who you are? How do you know what kind of clothes you like and what kind of men you like and what kind of sex youlike?”

“What do you mean?” Nina asked “I know because Iknow.”

Karen shook her head. “I know because I’ve tried different things over the years, and because being in this city, being single in this city, forces me to keep trying differentthings.”

Nina looked down at her half-eaten crab cake. “And you don’t think Ihave?”

“Haveyou?”

Something in Karen’s voice forced Nina to meet her eyes. “At first, moving to the suburbs felt like trying somethingnew.”

“It’s been almost twenty years,Nina.”

Karen’s voice was gentle, and Nina was embarrassed to feel tears sting her eyes. She blinked themback.

“After awhile it wasn’t about trying something different — it was about trying to fitin.”

Karen reached across the table and touched Nina’s hand. “That was then. You don’t have to fit in anymore. Now you get to figure out who you are, and I promise you, whoever that person is will find her way. But how will you know if you don’t experiment alittle?”

“Experiment withwhat?”

Karen shrugged. “With everything. New clothes are a good start. Liam and Jack are an even betterone.”

“That’s something I have to figure out,” Ninasaid.

Karen looked confused. “What’s to figureout?”

“I thought maybe the dinner with Liam was a friends thing, but now I’m not so sure. He’s asking me to brunchSunday.”

“So?”

“So… what do I tell him about Jack? Or what do I tell Jack about him?” Ninaasked.

Karen’s confused expression deepened. “You don’t tell them anything unless theyask.”

Nina shook her head. “I can’t date them both… canI?”

“You not only can, you should,” Karen said. “It isn’t 1950. You don’t owe anyone anything. You can date however many men you want until you decide you want to dootherwise.”

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