Page 129 of Kiss an Angel

“And how long have you known?”

“Maybe a month.”

“You’ve known about this for a month, and you just decided to tell me?”

“I was afraid.”

The raucous music of the clowns rose to a crescendo, signaling the end of their act. She and Alex were next. Digger, who was in charge of sending Misha into the arena at the climax, approached to take charge of the horse.

Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the others.

“There’s not going to be any baby, do you understand what I’m saying?”

“No . . . no, I don’t understand.”

“Tomorrow morning, you and I are taking off for the day. And when we come back, there won’t be any baby.”

She stared at him in shock. Her stomach heaved, and she pressed her knuckles to her mouth. The crowd inside the big top fell silent as Jack Daily began his dramatic introduction of Alexi the Cossack.

“Aaaand now, Quest Brothers Circus is proud to present . . .”

“You want me to have an abortion?” she whispered.

“Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of monster! Don’t you dare look at me like that! I told you from the beginning how I felt about this. I spilled my guts trying to make you understand. But, as usual, you decided you knew best. Even though you don’t have a trustworthy bone in your goddamn body, you decided you knew best!”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“I trusted you!” His mouth twisted into a snarl as the first strains of the balalaika drifted into the night, the cue for his entrance. “I actually believed you were taking those pills, but all the time you were lying to me.”

She shook her head and fought against the bile rising in her throat. “I’m not getting rid of this baby.”

“The hell you’re not! You’ll do what I tell you.”

“You don’t want this. It’s ugly and wicked.”

“Not as wicked as what you’ve done.”

“Alex!” one of the clowns hissed. “You’re on!”

He snatched the coiled whip from around his shoulder. “I’ll never forgive you for this, Daisy. Do you hear me? Never.” Thrusting himself away from her, he disappeared into the big top.

She stood there numbly, gripped by despair so thick and bitter she couldn’t breathe. Oh, God, she’d been such a fool. She’d thought he loved her, but he’d been right all along. He didn’t know how to love. He’d told her he couldn’t do it, but she had refused to believe him. And now she was going to pay the price.

Too late, she remembered what she’d read about the male tiger. This animal will have nothing to do with family life. No only does he play no part in raising his own cubs, but he may not even recognize them.

Alex was going one step further. He wanted this small speck of life that had already grown so precious to her destroyed before it could even draw its first breath.

“Wake up, Daisy! That’s your cue.” Madeline grabbed her and pushed her through the back door into the big top.

The spotlight hit her. Disoriented, she lifted her arm, trying to shield her eyes.

“. . . and none of us can fully appreciate the courage it has taken for this sheltered young woman to enter the arena with her husband.”

She stumbled forward, moving automatically to the balalaika music, as Jack wove his story of the convent-reared bride and her mighty Cossack. She barely heard. She saw nothing except Alex, her betrayer, standing in the center of the arena.

Specks of crimson glitter clung to the lash that coiled over the tops of his shining black boots, and blue lights flickered in his dark hair, while his eyes had turned the pale gold of a cornered animal’s. She stood in her own small spot of light as he began his whip dance. But tonight the dance didn’t speak of seduction. It was frenzied and savage, a declaration of rage.

The audience signaled its approval, but as the act progressed, Daisy’s part in it wasn’t as well received. The instinctive communication she’d always had with the crowd was gone. She didn’t even wince when Alex cut the paper tube from her mouth, but performed automatically, her despair so deep she couldn’t summon any feeling at all.

---