Page 128 of Kiss an Angel

His face flushed, and for a moment, she thought he was going to explode. Instead, he lifted her by the elbows and pressed her against the floss wagon. Then he kissed her until she was breathless.

When he finally set her back on her feet, he looked even more foul-tempered than he had before their kiss. “I’m sorry!” he shouted.

As an apology, it wasn’t impressive, and as he stomped away, he looked more like a rampaging tiger than a repentant husband. Although she knew he was suffering, she had just about lost patience. Why did he have to make everything so hard for them? Why couldn’t he simply accept the fact that he loved her?

She remembered the vulnerability she’d seen in his eyes that night when he’d asked her to give him a little more time, and she suspected he was afraid to give a name to what he felt for her. The conflict between his emotions and what he believed he knew about himself was ripping him apart.

That’s what she’d been telling herself, anyway, because the alternative—that he might not love her at all—didn’t bear thinking about, especially since she still hadn’t told him about the baby.

She had all sorts of excuses for her cowardice. When things had been going well between them, she hadn’t wanted to risk spoiling their harmony, and now that everything was falling apart, she’d lost her nerve.

But it was cowardice, nonetheless, and she forced herself to face the truth. Trouble needed to be confronted, but instead, she kept running from it. It had been nearly a month since she’d taken the pregnancy test. She estimated she was about two and a half months pregnant, but she hadn’t gone to a doctor because she didn’t want to risk Alex finding out about it. The fact that she was taking excellent care of herself was no excuse for not getting started on proper medical care, especially since she needed to make certain the baby hadn’t been harmed by the birth control pills she’d been taking before she’d discovered they hadn’t done their job and she was pregnant.

She stuck her fingers in the pockets of her jeans and made up her mind. There wouldn’t be any more postponements. He was impossible to live with right now, anyway, so what difference did it make? By the time they went to bed tonight, she would have told him. It had taken two people to make this baby, and it was time both of them lived up to their responsibilities.

As soon as the afternoon performance was over, she went to find him, but the truck was gone. She grew increasingly nervous. After putting this off for so long, now all she wanted to do was have it over with.

Her next chance should have been at dinner, but Alex’s troubles with the local health inspector kept him away until it was time for the evening performance. Now, as she approached the back door to wait for their act to begin, she saw him standing off to the side with Misha, who was loosely tied to a stake. One of his whips was coiled around his shoulder with the butt hanging free across his chest. The breeze rumpled his dark hair, and the fading evening light cast deep shadows across his profile.

No one approached him. It was as if he’d drawn an invisible circle around himself and the gelding, a circle that shut out everyone in the world, including her. Especially her. The red sequins in his sash glittered as he ran his hand over the horse’s flanks, and her frustration with him grew. Why did he have to be so pigheaded?

As the audience inside erupted in laughter over the antics of the clowns, she approached him. Misha snorted and tossed his head. She eyed the horse apprehensively. No matter how many times she did this act, she’d never get used to any part of it, including that terrifying moment when Alex pulled her up on the saddle in front of him.

She stopped well short of the horse. “Do you think you could get someone to cover for you after the show? We need to talk.”

He kept his back to her as he adjusted the cinch on the saddle. “It’ll have to wait. I have too much to do.”

She’d reached the limits of her patience. If they didn’t start discussing their problems, they’d never be able to have the kind of marriage both of them needed. “Whatever you have to do can wait.”

The full sleeves of his white shirt billowed as he whipped around. “Look, Daisy, if this is about the gas, I said I was sorry. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to get along with lately, but it’s been a rough week.”

“You’ve had lots of rough weeks, but you haven’t taken them out on me.”

“How many ways am I supposed to apologize?”

“This isn’t about apologizing. It’s about the reasons you keep pushing me away.”

“Just give it a rest, all right?”

“I can’t do that.” The clown act was coming to an end, and she knew this wasn’t the time to talk, but now that she’d gotten started, she couldn’t hold back. “We’ve been on an emotional marry-go-round, and it’s hurting both of us. We have a future together, and we need to talk about it.”

She touched his arm, expecting him to pull away, and when he didn’t, she found the confidence to go on. “These past few months have been the most wonderful time of my life. You’ve helped me find out who I am, and maybe I’ve helped you do the same thing.”

She gently pressed her palms to his chest and felt his heartbeat through the silky fabric. The paper flower tucked between her breasts rustled, and the lash of the whip he carried brushed the side of her hand. “Isn’t that what loving is all about? Being better together than we could be apart? We’re good for each other.” Without any planning, the words she’d held back for so long spilled out. “And we’re going to be good for the baby we’re having.”

For one small fragment of time everything was fine. And then it all changed. The tendons in his neck bunched, and his yes darkened with something that looked like fear. Then his features contorted into a mask of rage.

She snatched her hands from his chest. Her instincts warned her to run, but she was a lot tougher now, and she held her ground. “Alex, I didn’t plan this baby; I don’t even know how it happened. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m sorry.”

His pale lips barely moved. “I trusted y

ou.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

The muscles in his throat worked, and his hands clenched at his sides. For a moment she thought he was going to hit her. “How far along are you?”

“About two and a half months.”

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