Page 47 of Hot Momosa

Dahlia

“No bowl.”Gunnar slammed his hand down on the table. “Bowls are for babies.”

I drew a deep breath and silently counted to ten. It was bad enough he’d insisted on Leo’s Peanut Butter Captain Crunch for lunch, but now this? “You can’t eat cereal on a plate. The milk will spill.”

“No bowl!” He glared. “Bunny milk.”

Once again, I found myself counting to ten. Like most mothers, I’d always thought of my son as special. He was smarter, cuter, better behaved than the average baby. I mean, he’d slept through the night before he turned a month old.

And then he’d hit the terrible twos. Hard.

I rummaged through the pantry.

Please. Please. Please be in here.

“Bunny milk!” Gunnar swung his arms around like a maniac, and of course, sent the bowl of cereal flying.

Fifi, Cupcake, and Eugene shot into action. The Three Poodle-teers, as Leo called them, cleaned up the cereal in record time. I made a mental note to mop the dog spit from the floor once I had the tiny tyrant down for his nap.

“We don’t have any bunny milk.” I pulled his sippy cup from the cabinet. “How about juice?”

“No.” He screamed and flung himself backward. Had I not been standing beside him, he would have cracked his skull on the tile.

“That’s enough, young man. You are in timeout.” Without baby restraining devices like a crib or highchair, I was at a serious disadvantage. Holding the flailing child in my arms, I walked to the living room and deposited him on Leo’s Persian rug.

Gunnar flopped around on the floor, rolled to his back, and ended the tantrum by raising and dropping his legs several times like a malfunctioning mouse trap.

The buzzer rang and the dogs barked in a pitch that ranked up there with nails on a chalkboard.

Gunnar sat up wide-eyed and blessedly quiet. Then again, the fluffballs were making enough noise without his help.

“Quiet!” I hurried to the intercom and pressed the button. “Yes?”

“Thank God. Let us up. It’s a zoo down here.” Shanna called out over what sounded like a crowd of angry people.

My mind went blank. “You’re…here?”

“Yes, now buzz us up. We have our hands full.”

“Okay.” Thankfully, I’d spent enough time at Leo’s condo over the years to know how the security system worked. After entering a code, the screen beeped three times and flashed green. “It’s open, just let me put the dogs away.”

Gunnar cocked his head. “Who’s that?”

Oh God.

I’d spent the previous two-and-a-half years going to heroic measures to keep my friends from meeting my son. I’d met them in public, lied about his whereabouts, and gone as far as showing them fake pictures of kids I’d found on the internet. Anything to keep mine and Leo’s secret. In hindsight, it had been unbelievably naïve to think this day wouldn’t come.

“Mommy’s friend Shanna is here to visit.” Who else? She’d said us, not me. Who’s with her? Enzo? Please, not Enzo. Sure, he’s her husband, but he’s Leo’s brother. I’m so not ready for this.

“Nah-nah? Who’s that?”

“Sha-nah. Mommy’s friend.” Making kissy noises, I patted my leg to get the dogs to follow me into Leo’s bedroom. Once they were inside, I closed the door and pressed my back against the wall. My chest ached, and I was having a heck of a time catching my breath.

This is it. I’m having a heart attack in front of my child. He’ll need therapy for decades if I croak in front of him.

Shanna’s knock pulled me back to the moment at hand. I gathered every ounce of courage, walked to the door, and opened it to find Shanna, Maggie, and two small children in the hall.

“There is a special place in Hell for the paparazzi.” Shanna pushed past me carrying two duffle bags but stopped short.

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