Page 16 of Catching Camila

Mama sat smoking. Camila stood in front of her, blocking the TV and held up the pill bottle.

“Where?!” she asked, realizing now how any second she’d burst into tears. “Where are they?”

Mama leaned forward and peered at the bottle. “What you screaming at? Lower your voice!”

“No, Mama!” She never yelled at Mama. She couldn't stop. “Where are your pills? What did you do with them?”

Mama crossed her arms over her small chest. “I know what you did this morning to my cereal. I’m not taking that poison. I flushed them all. Over. Gone.”

“No!” Tears streamed down her face. “Why? You need these!”

Mama jutted her chin like a petulant child. “They make me feel like a dead thing. I won't take them. I’d rather die.”

“Oh God!” Camila swiped angrily at her tears with the back of her hand. Her eyes floated over the garbage heap they called home. Help. She needed help. “We should call Abuelo. I won't mention Beatriz. I could try to call and tell him—”

“Don’t you dare.” Mama sat up, the afghan falling off her lap. “I don't want you talking to anyone in that family. Got that? We take care of ourselves.”

“Someone has to help us.” Tears streaked down Camila’s cheeks.

Mama stood up and threw her arms around her daughter. “Shh, shh, mi amor. I’ll get better with that poison out of my system. I’ll get a job. I'll start looking tomorrow.”

Camila shook her head and pulled away. She’d heard those promises before. She dried her eyes and shuffled to her room. God, why hadn’t she locked up the pills in the first place? This was all her fault. She pinched her hands together and forced herself to stop crying. Crying wouldn’t get the money they needed. No, she’d just have to work harder. Somehow.

“Camila? My love?” Mama called.

Camila kept walking. She didn’t even slam her door when she entered her room. She didn’t have the energy to be angry anymore.

She walked down the hall and slumped into her bed, the life seeming to drain out of her. But when she closed her eyes she saw the guy at the dumpster. Homeless. Alone. Where was he right now? Had he found food? At least she had a home, a mother who cared about her even if she was bi-polar. What would it like to be all alone out there? Thinking of him, she said a prayer that he would find a safe place to sleep tonight.

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