Page 64 of Nuclear Option (Owens Protective Services)

“That’s different.”

“Why?” she cocked her head, giving me a knowing look. “Because you’re a man and you don’t have to talk about this stuff?”

“Because there’s nothing I can do to change it,” I snapped. “What happened over there is nothing like shit over here.”

She flinched back, like she was offended by what I said. “I had no idea you held the rights to bad shit happening.”

“That’s not what I meant. Look, the things that happen over there…it’s not like anything you’ll experience here. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be an ear to listen.”

She walked away, making me feel like shit. The things that happened over there, I couldn’t even begin to explain to her. Trying to tell her what it was like to stare down the scope of my rifle and ruthlessly take another life, without even the slightest remorse wasn’t something I could easily explain. It wasn’t taking lives that haunted me. I trained hard to become the best, and I was. I had a job to do, and I fucking did it. No questions asked.

* * *

Eva pretty much hid herselfaway over the next two days. While I checked in with the rest of the team and tried to hunt down any leads with Rae, she hung out with Jones. It shouldn’t have pissed me off how easy their relationship was, but it did. I found myself growing angrier the more time she spent with him. At night, she rolled away from me, and the only time I got to hold her was after she fell asleep. Coincidentally, she snuggled in close to me and even wrapped her body around mine once she was out. But in the morning, she pulled away and pretended none of it happened.

She hadn’t forgiven me, and I had a strange feeling it had something to do with the fact that after I refused to talk to her about what was bothering me with Jones, I hadn’t actually gone and explained why, or tried to talk to her again. Maybe it was my pride, but I really thought she would be the first to break and come to me. It turned out, that wasn’t going to happen.

When I woke up this morning, I realized if I was going to keep her, I needed to mend this rift between us. I had dated enough women to know what I had in Eva. Things were still new between us, but I saw a woman that was just as strong as me in her own right. We had different backgrounds and experiences, but against all odds, when she should have been dead, she survived and pushed through. That fight that resided in her resonated with me, making me feel like I’d met my equal. If I didn’t fix this, I stood to lose the one thing I knew I would be lost without.

So, as she sat out on the deck with Jones, laughing and smiling at him, I decided it was now or never. I opened the door and stepped outside, instantly drawing her attention. The thing was, I knew she was just as lost as me over the past two days. She might have been angry, but I could sense the longing inside her.

“Can we talk?”

Jones immediately stood, abandoning her to me. She shot him a nasty look that made him chuckle. When he passed me, his face said it all.Don’t fuck this up.I walked over and took the seat Jones vacated, then waited for her to look at me. After several minutes, she finally sighed and turned to face me.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Us.”

She snorted at that. “Is there an us?”

“You know there is. Eva, I’m sorry that I was so…I was an idiot. But you have to understand that there are some things I will never talk about.”

“That’s rich. You want me to trust you, to believe that what we have is so special, yet you won’t share the hard things with me. I’ve opened up and told you things I’ve never told anyone other than the police!”

“I know, and I didn’t mean to imply that what you went through wasn’t as bad as what I did. In fact, I’m sure it was.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

“Because you wouldn’t understand,” I bit out, trying to remain calm.

“And you understand what I went through?”

“No,” I answered truthfully, “but I can empathize with it.”

She leaned back in her chair, staring out at the vast landscape before us. I didn’t know if her silence was a good thing or not. I wanted to believe that she would just let this go, but part of me knew she wouldn’t fully trust me if I didn’t open up to her.

“I can’t do this, Cash. I won’t be bullied into a relationship, only to find out that it’s one-sided.”

“I didn’t bully you into anything.”

She huffed out a laugh, shooting me an incredulous look. “We had sex and you demanded I was yours.”

“That’s…you’re taking it out of context. You’ve been running from me and what’s between us. I was trying to reassure you.”

“By leaving me no choice?”

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