Page 85 of Whenever You Call

“Any chance I could ask you for a ride first? I need to get my car. Left it outside a bar a couple of nights ago.”

“Let me guess. You’ve been staying with the chick that just ran out of here crying since then. The one I recognized as Cole Newman’s lady.”

Fuck Newman. Hannah is mine now, even if I’ve lost her already. She doesn’t belong to him. She’s too good for both of us.

“Something like that,” I said instead.

“What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Logan?”

“A mess I’m struggling to get myself out of. I swear, I’ll tell you everything if you can get me back to my car.”

“You’re starting to cost me more than your membership is worth.”

“And I promise to pay you back everything I owe.”

He sighed again and rose to his feet, holding his hand out to me. I took it and groaned as he pulled me to standing, where he slapped a solid hand against my back and shook his head.

“Why is it always the handsome fuckers who end up giving me so much trouble, huh?”

Talkingto Creed helped for all of five minutes, but the moment I walked into my condo, the tinge of relief I’d got from telling my story faded away, only to be replaced by Hannah’s presence. The shorts and T-shirt she’d worn sat folded on the kitchen island to remind me of what I’d done and who I’d lost. I never would have thought clothes I’d had for years would come to represent so much.

I’d had her.

I’d lied.

I’d lost her.

“Fuck,” I hissed. My keys fell to the countertop, along with my palms, and I hung my head low and closed my eyes. “Fuck,” I sighed.

If I turned around, the imprint of her head would still be on my pillow. The imprint of her body would still be on my sheets.

I couldn’t stay here, either.

Even though you’re hurting now, and she’ll be hurting, too… you did the right thing, Logan.That’s what Creed had said to me on the drive to the parking lot where my car had sat for two days.

Nausea jabbed at my stomach. Even when days went by where Hannah and I didn’t talk, just knowing she had my number and knowing she had someone there for her had been a source of comfort. Now, she only had Bella and Liv again, and I’d chosen to reveal my true colors while the media was hunting her, trying to strike as many shots into her fragile heart as they could before she eventually fell to the floor in surrender and gave them everything they demanded.

I couldn’t let that happen.

I just didn’t know how the fuck to stop it now.

Pushing myself off the island, I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and pulled up her name. I’d seen the way she felt about me in her eyes before she’d turned and walked away. Hannah wouldn’t answer my calls yet. Maybe she never would again. But I had to try to reach out to her in some way. I had to let her know all my truths now.

Me: Hannah, please. Talk to me. I got myself all tangled up. I made a mess of fucking everything. I’m sorry. I only ever wanted to protect you.

Thirty minutes passed with no response.

Me: I’ve never been good with words. I’ve never been good at saying the right thing at the right time. Even now, I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. Should I keep going and show you how much I care, or should I walk away, respect your wishes, and leave you the hell alone, even when I have so much more to say?

Me: Whatever’s going through your mind right now, I need you to know one thing: none of this is on you. It’s all me. I’m to blame. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.

Between all those messages, I’d showered, changed, brushed my teeth until my gums were raw, and I’d paced the small space of my condo until my feet ached. The day wore on, but she never replied, and as the minutes turned into hours and the hours turned into a shift in daylight, it dawned on me that everything I felt wasn’t because of the guilt I carried because Cole had died. It wasn’t because I worried about the media on Hannah’s back or the fact that her dead husband had slept with more people than a working girl. Those were just pathetic excuses born from a boy too scared to love anyone or anything again. The truth was simple, despite it scaring the shit out of me.

My feelings for Hannah had grown. I was fucking falling for her, and the revelation had me sinking down on my mattress as I stared at the wall ahead and blew out a breath. Then, I opened up my cell one last time.

Me: My promise stands. Whenever you need me, call. I’ll be here waiting. I’ll always be a choice for you, no matter how much time passes.

Chapter33

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