Page 65 of Whenever You Call

“Because you’re… you, and you’re the kind of man who could get me in trouble.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do here.”

“That’s the thing, Logan. You don’t even have to try.”

He pushed his free hand through the thickness of his dark hair before rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly like he wasn’t sure what that meant or how the hell to respond. He had no idea of the magnetism he held or the way I looked at him, and the way he made me feel.

“Sorry. I made that sound weird, didn’t I?”

He dropped his hand from his neck to his lap. “You’re free to say whatever you need to say around me.”

“Even if I don’t think you’re ready to hear it?”

“Even then.”

“Okay. I’m grateful for that day you ran into me at the drive-thru. I mean… the dayIran intoyou. Something good came out of something really shit, and I think that’s kind of fascinating, don’t you? How all that has led to this: you here when I needed you. This… friendship we have.”

His hand squeezed mine before he leaned back, breaking the connection completely to bring his fist up to rest his cheek against it.

I wanted him to put his hand back on mine immediately, but I somehow schooled my face, desperate not to show the effect the loss of his touch had on me.

“Sorry,” I said again. “Sometimes when my emotions are a wreck like this, I say too much.”

“Stop apologizing. You don’t say too much.”

“Not true.” I smirked. “Cole used to hate that about me.”

“Sounds like he had a lot to say about everything.” He raised a brow. “Did you ever tell him what you found irritating?”

“Sometimes.” I rubbed my lips together in thought. “Not enough.”

“Were you scared of him?”

I blanched. “Physically? Never. He wasn’t like that. Emotionally, I wasn’t scared, but I dreaded the way he could make me feel. Like I was a project he continued to work on. Someone that could and would eventually be molded into something perfect. The wife he really wanted.”

“What about what you wanted?”

I huffed out a nervous laugh. “I forgot what that was along the way. I’m to blame as much as Cole. I wanted us to be happy. I wanted to be everything I could for him. For us as a family.”

“And that dick doesn’t sound like he deserved asecondof it.” Logan slowly closed his eyes and dragged a hand down his face before he let it drop against his thigh again. “My turn to apologize. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No… Doesn’t stop it being true.”

“But, fuck, the more I hear about him, the worse it gets. You deserved someone who took you for you, no matter what got on his nerves or didn’t. Not someone who tried to cherry-pick your best bits and erase the things he wasn’t fond of.”

“That’s the trouble with abandoned kids. We become desperate adults. I took what he offered, and I didn’t think to set my own boundaries. What kind of idiot did that make me?” I let my hands fall to rest on my thighs, twisting them together. “I grieve for him, yes. But I’m also grieving for the person I could have been. This woman he left behind isn’t the woman I imagined being.”

“You’re young. You still have time.”

“But just the thought of starting over…”

He leaned forward, placing his hand over mine. “The only thing you need to focus on is taking it one day at a time. Get through today first. Tomorrow is tomorrow’s problem.”

“One day at a time,” I repeated in a whisper, my eyes dropping to his mouth for just a moment before another traitor tear of mine fell. I pulled my hands out from under his to wipe it away. “Sounds like a plan,” I said, breaking eye contact with him because when Logan looked at me the way he currently was, it all became too much, but he soon had my chin trapped between his finger and thumb, and he carefully, oh so gently, brought my attention back to his face. He gifted me with a handsome smile before he let me go, making me smile in return.

We were so close; it should have felt invasive. Instead, I trusted him with me completely, knowing he’d never do anything that crossed the lines we’d drawn together. Even though I wasn’t entirely convinced thatIwas capable of that for much longer.

We stayed that way for a while, each of us propped up against the island, staring into the other’s eyes as we talked, and I calmed, my breaths evening out little by little, thanks to Logan’s distractions. He asked about my day, and I asked about his, feeling an odd sensation twisting in my gut when he told me the stories of his time in the bar with his friend Jerry and the three women trying to get his attention.