Page 46 of Whenever You Call

“Move to LA. I’m tired of not seeing you.”

Kate laughed, breaking any awkwardness between us, and as the conversation bled into something else, I didn’t take my eyes away from my reflection.

I almost expected Cole to appear beside me, shaking his head, his face filled with disappointment because everyone in this room could see it clearly…

Kate had been right.

I spoke about Logan with far too much reverence, and I didn’t know how to stop.

Chapter19

LOGAN

Nothing had worked.

The fighting. The running. The skipping. The sparring. The sweating. None of it.

No matter how much I tried to clear my head, all I could see were Hannah’s eyes staring up at me like I was some kind of fucking hero while she told me I couldn’t possibly save everyone.

For two days, it haunted me in my dreams. It plagued my every waking thought. No matter how many times I considered calling her to have a conversation and get the awkwardness out of the way, I couldn’t do it.

The texts she’d sent had been the final nail in the coffin, reminding me everything I’d been doing was wrong. I’d made her trust me. Made her think I could bethatguy to lend a shoulder for her to cry on, hoping it would absolve my own fucked-up guilt for even a minute, only for it to have the opposite effect.

I was ruining her…

And I couldn’t stop.

I’d never understood people with addictions. Not until now. Every time I got a call to attend an overdose of any kind, I’d look into the eyes of the patient and think to myself,why can’t you just say no? This is your life you’re playing with. Is it really worth it? Don’t you care what you’re doing to those around you?Now, I understood all too well how someone, or something, could make you feel so damn fucking high just by looking at you, you never wanted to come back down.

That’s why I’d found myself in the gym for the last two days. I’d been trying to go cold turkey, hoping that it was that easy to go through. It wasn’t. Nothing worked. The urge to go to her just grew stronger.

Creed gave me the eye as I packed up my kit bag and threw it over my shoulder, brushing my free hand through my hair and feeling the sweat covering me from head to toe. Everything was soaked. I could barely pull in a sufficient breath, I’d run myself into the ground that much, desperately digging for answers.

If I didn’t have answers for myself, I sure as hell didn’t have them for him.

I looked away and made my way to the exit, trying to make a swift escape before anything came out of his mouth, but Creed always seemed to be one or two steps ahead, and he was blocking my path before I could find a way around it.

“I’ve seen many a man walk through those doors to try and exorcize their demons,” he said, standing in front of me with his arms folded beneath his chest.

I looked up at him, not saying a word, my breaths still coming short and sharp.

“Most trainers wouldn’t give a shit who walked in carrying baggage and who walked out with that baggage still on their shoulders, so long as they got their money at the end of it. Unfortunately for you, I’m not that guy.”

When I didn’t respond, he reached out and put a hand on my shoulder.

“All I’ll say is this: you can fight like hell in here and give it all you’ve got, but as soon as you walk out of those doors, the noise will come flooding back. Trust me, kid. Take it from someone who knows.” I opened my mouth to speak, only for him to cut me off. “And before you try to tell me you’re fine or even tell me what’s got you trying to kill yourself off, I don’t want to hear it. Just know that it’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to try and ignore it and hope it goes away. Whatever’s eating away at you… deal with it. This place is good therapy, sure, but it’s no magic cure.”

With a tap to my shoulder, Creed winked and walked away.

Of course, my thoughts went straight to her.

I pulled out my cell from the pocket of my shorts, and Hannah’s name soon stared back at me. Before I could overthink it, I hit the call button, and she answered at the same time as the cool air of the outdoors hit my warm skin, a welcome reprieve to my overworked senses.

“Logan?” she said, my name sounding like a question.

“Hey.”

“You’re alive then.”

---